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/adv/ - Advice

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im 20virgin no kisses nothing...

many here would call me an incel but the thing is im not blaming women for no reason and im not saying im just ugly or the percentage of men that arent "chad" and fuckable and whatever... (like an incel does)

im realistic with myself.

my problem exists because I was a shy insecure teenager that didnt flirt and as a result im a young adult that has missed that and doesnt know the steps... therefore still insecure (although im trying rn)

Apart from sex though im missing an actual connection with someone... like i dont wanna pay for a hook up or find someone online or whatever... i want to find a girl thats going to be attracted to me and actually wanna do something... I wanna cuddle listen to music fucking travel... who knows... im just lonely and no matter how many friends or relatives I have that love me it just will never be equal to what I described... :/

IDK... like im not expecting adv here but like... i just wanted to share... im lonely..

>pic is me trying to flirt
>goes on /adv/
>IDK... like im not expecting adv here but like... i just wanted to share... im lonely..
Vents are a bannable offense here, fuck off to /soc/ you attention whore. You're also young and zoomers aren't having as much sex as boomers did so stop being a fucking snowflake over what's quickly becoming the norm.
goooooood a self aware anon
don't force anything if u want someone whos attracted to u and just wait for the right person
its better than when people come on here and just ignore the fact they want attention. especially with the posts you see about relationships, no stranger can give u advice on that bcus they have no idea what its actually like and only have ur point of view
umm chill? lol


okay thanks!
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In the same position and I recently turned 18, I plan to prioritize money over a relationship as I am poor but I at least want to lose my virginity before 20.

No idea where to start considering I have virtually no experience with relationships or anything intimate.

Anyone have any ideas?
Nah, you're not an incel man. You seem rational enough, so don't let people lump you with that garbage. I hope you find someone you can share your life with, be it a true bro or a loving girlfriend.

Just some personal advice here since it's always a good idea to be a bit pessimist, but remember that you 'might' not ever find anyone the sort, so try to find other joys in life as well, yeah?
You're still 20 though, bet'cha 10 bucks you'll find a girl that'll love you just as much back.
You'll owe me a cup of coffee.
Brother live your life, dont live wht society or Man things is correct like getting laid with bunch of chicks. Improve your self love, do thigs you love start improving your social skills with your family, people from stores, old and young people step by step. You will rise your security.
And never expect anything from another, you will find the girl that is attracted to you, and you from her but time will come and shit will happend. You will need to rise your emotional intelligence or that thing that brake up - cheating will happen will destroy your self. Build your self for and by your own and you will sew the light.
Get it into your skull that in no way is 18 too old to lose your vcard. I was 18, and as soon as it was done, it was no big deal at all. Just talk to girls a lot, and you'll get better at it in time, and at one point one of those girls will go farther than you'll prepare for. Be ready in general (hygenically speaking), but never plan specific evenings (as in stress over it, or force it). It happens when it happens.
This applies to >>20792539 as well. 20 is still young. Don't compare yourself to others, just make sure you progress. Talking to new people is key. They don't all have to be people you want to fuck. Gain experience. Notice your own behavior. Learn from your mistakes. Accept that it's a stepping-stone game.

Also, meeting someone on some app doesn't always turn into embarrassing stories. Speaking from experience.
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>just talk to girls a lot

About what?

I don't really go to places except college.

Not a fan of online dating, I think to have any chance I need to dive into real interaction. Anyone can act like a chad on the internet.
>About what?
Short answer: About anything appropriate, anywhere appropriate, but let me spoonfeed you:

Talking more than the absolute minimum necessary whenever you exchange money for goods and services with somebody, or when you're standing somewhere for more than half a minute where there's other people around alone, will soften any anxiety the more you practise it.
Talk to clerks or bartenders, ask them if it's busy night or a lot of traffic today.
Ask people waiting for the bus if they've been waiting a long time (you're not sure if you missed your ride,) or if they got the time (you're battery is dead.)
Compliment the weather, it's the most normal human thing imaginable.
Ask little old ladies in the park if how their day is, you might very well make their day (other people are lonely too.)
Make inquiries in stores, even if you don't need it. Ask about producs and specs. Have follow up questions.

Let's imagine that you've done this all day, talking to people. Some encounters will naturally be very short, since a lot of people are socially awkward, but quite often you'll find yourself in conversations that needn't end, were it not for the fact that people got stuff to do. The more you practise, the easier it'll get, as I've said. So with this in mind, let's FFW to when you're in a situation where you're talking to a girl you fancy. Because you've done this all day, and she's just another strangers in a long line of strangers, nothing special as such, since you're not singling her out by talking as such. It releaves a lot of the negative tension you feel, since it's not the talking-part that makes her different from the rest of the people you meet, it's the attraction-part. As soon as it's more natural to you to talk to pretty women, building attraction is a lot easier.
Forgot that there was more to your post.

>I don't really go to places except college.
Well, a lot of women like to go places, so perhaps you should start. Btw, are you OP or >>20792703
I'm not going to argue against your wish for 'real interaction', that's only a testament to your hopefulness. Good on you. However, there are actually real people behind all those seemingly vapid profiles, and what you've seen from screengrabs on message boards and reddit are chosen for sensationalistic purposes. A lot of people do sometimes have normal conversations with people they match with, and as long as you don't take all the ones that lead to nothing, or are straight out catfishes or mean people too seriously, it doesn't hurt to test waters. In best case, if you get good digits, it can be a remedy against oneitis. I'm dating a wonderful woman that I matched with on tinder more than two years ago, and I know other people in the same situation. But I digress, just my two pennies, the important message here is to learn how to talk to women as a man.

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