I’ve been married to my wife for nine years, and we’ve had our ups and downs like everyone else, but our downs are very minor, and very few and far between. Our ups are much more common and our marriage has been good. Still is. Even our sex life had been improving a lot more year by year. But lately, like maybe for the last year, my wife won’t even turn and face me in bed. She hasn’t initiated sex at all in over a year, never gives in to my requests, while I’m always happy to indulge her’s. Now she’s gotten to the point where she will string me along and then blow me off. Example from this past weekend: She went to her cousin’s bachelorette party and stayed for the weekend with her cousins to throw the party. It was small and relatively tame. I’ve seen a ton of the footage on FB and it’s just a little drinking and games. Wife was drunk a lot of the time and flirting with me via text about sex and what we could do when she gets back, etc. She gets home and we’re hugging and all she makes comments about how I’m off work tonight, etc. That evening after the kids are asleep we are watching TV and she’s sitting right with me, which is unusual. She’s clearly being affectionate. So we go upstairs and get in bed... She rolls over and gives me the cold shoulder. I try to roll her toward me, she resists. She says “Ugh, I just want to sleep” in this whiny voice. So I let go and roll over. I’m done.I confront her about it tonight and she has no idea why I thought she was interested in sex “at all this weekend”. She looks back at our texts and says she understands how I could have felt she was leading me on, but didn’t mean to.She has become completely uncaring about my feelings when it comes to sex. I feel like now it’s become a joke that she can flirt about and then just drop it like it’s nothing.I’m actually feeling like something snapped in me. I feel like she made a fool of me.What are your thoughts?
Sounds like she doesn't love you anymore and dreads being intimate with you. The only and best thing you can do is sit down with her and have a very Frank long chat. If she refuses to talk openly about how she feels there's just nothing you can do man
Bring this up directly. Instead of "why wont you put out" try "why arent we in love like we used to be". There is no excuse such as too old. Also consider the fact:are you as romantic as you may have used to been. Her feeling attractive... The list is endless... Consider couples counseling just for therapeutic action or determining if this is something you need to end your relationship over
I’m very confused about why she would act like she wanted it and then flip the switch like that when she hits the bed.
>>20569202Go get partner therapyThis is the only route that may have a productive ending
>>20569240Women never feel attractive. This was a dick move by her.
>>20569202Did you made clear that you aren't just being petty/needy, but this actually represents a serious issue for you? Maybe she's underestimating the situation
>>20569256I did. She just said she would try and make effort and blah blah blah. Same thing she always says. But now she’s reverted to doing this shit where she strings me along and then blows me off. Thankfully the flirting happened by text mostly, because she didn’t even seem to understand why I felt strung along until she saw it. That makes me feel like nothing she said meant anything.
>>20569266I would agree, but I don’t know when it could be. Believe me, our life schedules basically give me 100% opportunity to catch that shit, and my 7 year old wouldn’t be able to NOT tell me about it. I heartedly agree with your thoughts, except that it doesn’t fit our actual situation. We would have to make major life changes just for either of us to have that chance. That’s actually why I’m asking on 4chan. It’s because the most obvious answer is that she’s cheating, but she isn’t. So I have no explanation.
Beat/rape her into submission. I am not joking.
OP says his “Marriage is good”, so the wife acting like a bitch is odd. Then again, women are like that. They don’t give a shit about what a guy wants or needs. Even if they’re married to them.
>>20569202This is exactly the kind of thing couples counselors are very good at.Clearly a disjoint of communication - she sends messages she doesn't realize she's sending and/or you get messages she didn't intend to send. A third party can readily help you through this
>>20569435Yeah. One of her messages was literally “I’m game”.
>>20569202Have you considered that the problem might be with you?What’s your appearance or weight like compared to earlier in your relationship? Do you let your hygiene slip because you think your family won’t mind? Did you start dressing and acting like “a dad” rather than being the person you were originally that attracted her? Are you boring now and only focused on your kids and career rather than being a well rounded man?
>>20569272Are you in good physical shape? Do you keep presentable, wear decently etc.? There's only so much you can obtain by asking her, but maybe you could try to a different approach
>>20569452I am less than five pounds off of my marriage weight, I’m 5’11 and weigh about 180. I have vastly different facial hair because she prefers it and I have grown to prefer it too. I dress in ways that she compliments even more often than usual over the last several months. She says it’s not me but I told her I’m left to believe that it has to be me. I simply don’t seem to factor into her list of priorities at all. She and I enjoy improving our home and hobbies and property, building a homestead and learning new skills, raising our kids, etc. She just has a list of priorities and I don’t seem to have a place on it.
>>20569583I feel like I’m a lot more well kept than I was 10 years ago. In slightly better shape, yeah.
>>20569629>I’m 5’11Well there's your problem right there.Try growing another inch.
>>20569639Go back to /b/ nigger
>>20569202Sounds like a 3rd party is in order
>>20569659Oh eat me you joyless shit. That's a perfect set up.
>>20569673She likely won’t be up for that. We did marriage counseling many years ago just as an idea to see if there was anything we could make better. Therapist ended up telling her that she needed to show more approval toward me for the things I do. She didn’t expect to hear that. She says that she is going to fix this latest problem, but I reminded her she says that every time, that she will finally start putting more effort into sex, and not only does it not last, it doesn’t even start. I could complain about her lack of effort, and the first opportunity she has to make some, she passes on it. And now that she actually stooped to just jerking me around over this past weekend, I’m really done with trying.
>>20569687You know /b/ is where you live.
>>20569691Yeah, I'd be looking for alternatives. Maybe get a mistress. Or tell your wife to fuck off.
Welcome to married life!
>>20569715That’s what I figured.
Married women just want less sex than their male counterparts.She most likely has no idea how serious of an issue this actually is for you.Since you have already been to therapy, it is most likely that she has empathy issues. Not a good place to be.
>>20569821I think women have empathy issues in general. The only things that they can imagine might be important to other people are the things they hold important. Everything else doesn’t exist.
>>20569821And unfortunately it’s ALWAYS the man who is expected to accept less. The woman is never expected to make any effort.
>>20569949When it comes to sex; this but unironically. No one owes you sex. No one is obliged to give you sex if they don't feel like it. That goes regardless of gender.
>>20569958I didn’t say I’m owed sex. I said I don’t understand why my wife is jerking me around and leading me on about it. Take off your feminist bullshit goggles.
>>20569967>I said I don’t understand why my wife is jerking me around and leading me on about it.No. That is not what you said.
>>20569202She wants to have sex outside of the marriage/end the marriage. The cock teasing is standard single woman behaviour, she does this with other men and wants an intimate relationship with them but cant cos of: her marriage, what her children/people will think, personal values and fault at divorce court etc. So she's taking it out on you (if i gotta be frustrated so can you be, she thinks. what's to lose, maybe he'll initiate the divorce).
>>20569958>no one owes you sextrue but then again if you don't have sex with your gf/wife she's more like a roommate/sister
>>20569202If you guys haven't had sex in a year, the writing is on the wall, OP.
>>20569202Maybe you used to be young and lean and now you are fat, balding and have a bad breath because you let yourself go ?Most 35~40 men are disgusting with their fat belly while the wives take care of themselves
HE FELL FOR THE MARRIAGE MEMEEnjoy your sexless life, cucking and alimony
>Legal contract including womenI don't know what to say OP, you have been warned enough beforehand and now you woll have to deal with the consequences. If you were my friend i'd tell you to rip off the bandaid.
>>20569687Uh, no. Other than a "heh" from your fellow faggots, it was neither funny or clever at all. Faggot.
My worst nightmare
>>20569202>What are your thoughts?...That you actually even have a wife to try and have sex with and should probably get couple's counseling instead of listening to virgin assholes like us.
>>20570399Used to be that having kids was an investment. Nowadays in the 21st century, parenting just causes stress and financial loss.Stress (and children in general, really) leads to less sex.This is why you don't breed.
>>20569202she's a psychopath and is only married to you for your money and security
>>20569659that's more of a /fit/ meme, but all the same fuck off it was funny