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Previous thread: >>20561614
GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.

>Guys insecure with their 4+ inches dick
Fuck off

>[insert humble (or otherwise) brag]
Fuck off.

>Why is there no new thread?
Just make one. You can use these macros: https://imgur.com/a/y6BF2
>>
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>Almost 30% female
Not too bad so far (for 4chan. I don't have high hopes for /adv/ by default, see)
https://www.strawpoll.me/17406909
>>
>>20564037
So yeah, I'm still tracking this poll.
>>
H-hey AtOGA (either gender I guess), Can you help me sell myself to women through text?
I don't want to copy your exact words, but maybe a walkthrough or whatever because I feel like I really don't know what to say.
>>
>>20564064
I mean like a profile. You know.
>>
So let me get this straight, girls want:

>a masculine, relatively dominant guy (in terms of sexuality and personality), who is in control
but also
>they want to be in charge of the relationship
>>
How do I get over a girl I never dated/had a romantic relationship with? I find myself constantly comparing other girls to her even though it's been like a month since I talked to her.
>>
>>20564116
I wish there was a higher character limit for the OP...
>>
I met this girl and despite my reservations I think I really do like her. I remember how nervous I felt when I first met her, which is different to my typically indifferent attitude to new people. I think it's more likely than not that she likes me as well. Few nights ago I held her hand in the dark and it was nothing like before. It's the best feeling I've had in my life. Now it's time to decide if I want to commit to a long term relationship with her. My dilemma isnt from my doubts about her but rather I can't help but feel that I will be am affliction upon her. I'm a pretty normal guy on the outside I suppose but really, I am too often derided by my existential anguish. In a relationship , my sorrow is her sorrow, my anxieties are her anxieties. As I emancipate my hidden feelings and being unto her, i dread that she will suffer for my sake. Also a more conventional worry is that I don't have a secure future and I wouldn't want her to struggle financially. I know in life the mantra of "just do it" is often quoted and I have taken it to advise many times but because the wellbeing of someone I care about is at stake I do feel defeated. What should I do ?
>>
Curious. What's the general female consensus on musicians? Do I get points for being one?
>>
>>20564064
>>20564069
If you're a salesman, and you need to sell your product, what's it say about you and your product if you need anonymous, random input just to put the thing off the shelf?

What I'd suggest, Anonymous, is that you work more toward the kind of thing you'd be happy to market and sell (so-to-speak! do not prostitute!). It's no good if you're so full of doubt out the gates.
What do you think would make a more reliable platform for you to sell from? Surely you have some idea of something you WOULD say, if you only COULD.
>>
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Important question: how do I indirectly ask a girl if they like me? I'm good friends with a girl who is super nice and loves to hang out with me, and I've tried flirting with her a few times before but I honestly can't tell if she's just being super nice or actually interested in me.

Is there any way to ask a girl if they like you indirectly, without giving it away that you like them as more than a friend? I don't think I know her enough though to ask her flat out. I fear asking her directly could drive her away and ruin our friendship.
>>
>>20564206
>what's it say about you and your product if you need anonymous, random input just to put the thing off the shelf?
This isn't a normal product. It is a very broad product that I don't know how to approach as a sell.
The internet was also a hard sell and you don't know what you're talking about or what I'm asking for and seriously frustrating me with this self-help book mentality.
I am sure I'm marketable, I'm just confused about how to do that in this way.
>>
>>20564206
And what's with the personal insult you absolute piece of shit?
>>
>>20564332
There's no safe way to ask. Do it or not.
>>
How attractive is it for a guy to have drive, even though the guy is younger and...just a different education field. My friend said that's good as well, so what do you gals say here?
>>
>>20564404
Not that anon, but I'm wondering about this sort of thing too.

The problem then though is are you risking the friendship by asking that?
>>
>>20564396
Like yeah I'm asking /adv/ because I figure, first off, that a lot of people have done this before.
Second off, because I want to get shit done and /adv/ is right here. Given the first reason, I don't see what I'm doing wrong.
>>
>>20564409
Drive? As in ambitious?
That’s very good, asking as you got time for downtime and hobbies too.
I don’t care if a man have a great career and money if we don’t get to enjoy it together.
>>
>>20564425
Yes! That kind of drive.
>>
>>20564414
We all have doubts but in my personal opinion, you should only ask a woman out if you really do like them. It's worth losing the friendship and suffering potential rejection if you love them.
>>
>>20564429
In today’s neet hellhole, having drive is very attractive.
>>
>>20564432
But I don't fucking want to lose a friendship.
Its at least not inevitable?...
>>
Girls: Would you date a guy who is essentially a bisexual virgin?

I like both genders, but I like women a bit more. But as far as relationships & sexual encounters go, I've had terrible luck with women. Would you date a guy, knowing he has only fucked/dated other guys, and you would be his first real woman?
>>
>>20564371
>>20564468
FUCK IT I'M LOOKING UP A DATING COUCH WITH A COUNSELING CERTIFICATE

I'M DONE WITH THE ABSOLUTE PURGATORY OF RELATIONSHIP OR DATING ADVICE THAT IS 4CHAN AND REDDIT.
>>
>>20564483
>>20564024
I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR DAYS. DAYS IF NOT WEEKS AND ALL IT FUCKING IS IS DISTRACTION.
I'M DONE. I'M FUCKING DONE.
>>
Reposting because apparently last thread died as I posted this

>like girl at work
>not same departments
>i see her every few days at least
>we talk a lot
>like her more
>get jealous when she hangs out with other guys
>dont want to ask her out because afraid to get rejected at work
Whats a good solution here?
>>
posted in the last thread about a female coworker who seemed to be throwing signals at me. I've never introduced myself, but she knows me and during my last shift she greeted me for the first time (saying 'Hi!' in a happy tone).

How should I go about introducing myself next time I see her? I think she's beautiful, but I can only look at the ground when we pass. I know it's silly, because she always sees me working hard and I'm confident she doesn't find me ugly
>>
>>20564037
>straight/bi
>some LGBT thing
>Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender
>Bisexual
>Straight/Bi

big hmmm
>>
>>20564468
It's an either or question. Is she a lover or a friend? Anyway you are right. Best thing is to form your own experience even well intentioned advice will be subverted by the reader
>>
>>20564515
I'm not going to type out the whole thing.
For the purpose of that poll, bisexual cisgender people of one gender and sex who are born that way etc etc and straights that are are the same because they have interest in the opposite gender. This thread is about asking the opposite gender that is attracted to your gender anything.

The poll is supposed to test the ratio of advice, basically.
>>
>>20564544
Also bisexuals aren't always a minority, depending on how you define a bisexual.
...Though given the number of people in the otherwise LGBTQ+ minority bracket, I'm thinking I might want to make a new poll with more categories. I wasn't sure if I needed to do that so I was going to test with just a blanket category, but now I'm seeing these percentages, yeah maybe I'll redo the poll at some point.
Maybe I should of a 'number polled' goal.
>>
>>20564519
>Best thing is to form your own experience
I guess that's the long and short of it...
So, I guess I have to try out [that thing I was gonna do].
>>
>>20564198
Not specifically for being a musician. You do get points for having an interesting hobby. If you are an artistic wash-up with no real job, however...
>>
>>20564497
don't date coworkers
>>
How 2 get gf more interested in going camping? It's a hobby I'd love to share with her but she's deadset against it.
>>
>>20564037
that's not a good snapshot of the whole board though, even accounting for trolling
>>
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>>20564024
How do I show a woman I am interested in them without bothering them?
The only place I usually meet people around small town here is when people are busy shopping and rather be left to their own devices.
Since this place is small though I have a good chance to meet people again so I want to be able to make and impression so maybe I can talk an get to know a lady later down the line when its a better time and/or place.
>>
>>20564471
>Girls: Would you date a guy who is essentially a bisexual virgin?
Obviously. This is like... 90% of all guys, most are just afraid to admit it, and delude themselves into thinking otherwise.
>I like both genders, but I like women a bit more. But as far as relationships & sexual encounters go, I've had terrible luck with women. Would you date a guy, knowing he has only fucked/dated other guys, and you would be his first real woman?
Eh, personally I'm not fond of people with random sexual encounters, and it is beginning to sound like to vastly different situations. Either you are a virgin, or you have fucked someone.
>>
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Either gender can answer this:

How do I get rid of feeling disappointed when things don't work out with someone I just met?

The cute girl in my class turned out to have a boyfriend and this is after I got her number. It turns out the day I met her, sometime after class, she got in a relationship. I know this because my teacher was asking questions on the first day of class as a way of being like, do you work, go to school, have a relationship. As a way of giving an example of how much we have on our plate. She didn't raise her hand at the relationship part. So we were talking and I felt like we vibed really well. Even through text. I know I don't know her super well, it just sucks that I was kinda excited for this because it was going well. So I'm just disappointed and not trying to let it get to me. But how do I not get this way. Whenever I do I feel like some stupid "nice guy" redditor who flips out when a girl rejects him. I didn't flip out and I still talk with her, but I don't like that underlying feeling of disappointment.
>>
>>20564556
I would not be surprised if there indeed is a large category of non-straights here, simple due to the nature of this place.

I put myself in the straight/bi bracket, despite being more gay than straight. I would date either gender if I liked the person enough, so it's kind of a toss up.
>>
How to not think less of yourself for being rejected?
>>
>>20564717
>We wanted different things in life, it wouldn't have worked out anyway
Sometimes it is true, after all. If the other person doesn't want to settle down yet, regardless of the reason, then it wouldn't work out anyway.

It will often be a blatant lie, but as long as you can convince yourself otherwise, it's all good.
>>
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Am I overreacting if i got a bit annoyed that my gf joined a new DnD group (run by her mate's boyfriend) and she or the random bf guy didn't even think to invite me?

Inb4 'you are a cuck'. My gf and i have a strong relationship and no my gf and this other guy are not banging.
>>
>Chat online with someone
>Become pretty good friends, although we with really share too much personal stuff.
>Accident happened nearby that was all over the local newspapers and reporting
>He talks briefly about it, and I let slip that it was right around the corner of where I live
>Turns out he lives literally 15 minutes walk away from me
>I have never told him my gender, because he is that type of person who instantly grow sweet and nauseating whenever he learns another player in video games is a girl, regardless of how he acted previously, and I specifically wanted to avoid that.
How do I handle this without him getting weird? Or is that a lost cause?

I have... issues that means I really don't want to be dependant on another human being right now, and I just fear this will inevitably end in something bad, either because I'll lose a valuable friend, or worse.

He still doesn't know. I could probably try to dress up super manly, and hope he thinks I'm a guy or a weird transgender person, but I don't want to cut my hair, and I don't exactly look like a guy in the first place, so it will probably be hard to pull off.
>>
>>20564746
Just ask instead of being dramatic about it. Could be they assumed you weren't interested.

I would also sincerely doubt she would sleep with a friends boyfriend. So it's probably nothing to fuss over.
>>
>>20564752
I'm confused, why would he have to know you're a girl? Did you arrange a meet up?
>>
>>20564759
He *really* wants to meet, and has already talked about having a gaming weekend where we game all night at his place.

He is a bit of a lonely type. So far I have been able to at least hold off for now, due to being overworked and with family events during the next two weekends, but I know I am just holding it off at this point. I'll either have to tell a friend that I don't want to meet him at all, or meet up with him. I don't really have any other options, do I?
>>
>>20564766
>I don't really have any other options, do I?
Not really. Do it or don't. Dodging it for too long will tank the friendship anyway. At least giving him a flat out rejection might save it.
>>
>>20564766
Be upfront, my man. Tell him that you're a girl but you don't want that the change the friendship and that you're not ready to meet up.
>>
HORSE GIRLS

Why y'all so weird and obsessed with your horses?
>>
>>20564757
yeah, I said to her 'this is not about me having a problem with you going off to do your own activities - it was more just the 'not even asking if i might want to come' thing that got to me.

I said this and she was just like 'oh i guess [mate's bf] didn't mean to make you feel excluded' . I was just like 'well, he's succeeded'
>>
>>20564746
yes you're overreacting
>>
>>20564771
>Dodging it for too long will tank the friendship anyway.
Yeah probably... It does seem sketchy to keep prolonging it when we live to close together, now that I think about it.
>At least giving him a flat out rejection might save it.
I thought most guys hate having female friends they don't have a chance with?

>>20564772
>and that you're not ready to meet up
Hmm.. might not be a bad idea to try this approach, but hopefully he won't take it the wrong way.
>>
>>20564778
It's a hobby. I could say the same for why so many guys are so obsessed with looking ripped or their computer, or sport, or whatever.
>>
>>20564024
I can't tell if a girl is giving or signaling hints of any kind, should I tell this to my date or will this just make dating impossible?
>>
>>20564781
That's... causing drama.

Just ask if you can join if you want to. If you don't, leave it alone and let her have fun. No reason to make a big problem out of this. They made a wrong assumption, mistakes happen.
>>
>>20564784
>might not be a bad idea to try this approach
Just make sure you word it right. Make sure you let him know you still wanna be friends, but you're not ready to meet up yet.
>>
>>20564784
>I thought most guys hate having female friends they don't have a chance with?
Some do I guess. The type of guy who turns into a lickspittle when he finds out you're a girl is probably one of those types actually.
>>
>>20564784
>I thought most guys hate having female friends they don't have a chance with?
Depends on the guy. I have female friends I'm super close with but have no chance with. But I care about them a lot and I value that over fucking them or whatever.
>>
>>20564752
"There are no girls on the internet", is a meme that basically means "I can't fuck you, so it doesn't matter what gender you are".

This guy acts like he has even a snowball's chance in hell of getting with a random player in a random game, just because the player claims to be a girl, with no further proof needed. You are fucked no matter what you do at this point, because he'll likely go full Whiteknight Nice Guy on you, until you actually sleep with him.

You really have no good option other than hope that his act towards online women is just that - an act. Lately I've met some guys who do it, simply because the community in a lot of games are super hostile towards women, so they do it just to even it out a bit. It's probably a sad chance, but it's better than nothing.

Just be very careful about how you meet up with him. Doing an all-nighter at his place is basically asking him to rape you, so make sure you are 100% sure you can trust him before you do anything too private with him.
>>
>>20564793
I'll try. I bought myself some time, so I have some time to formulate myself properly. Maybe even do a video call to make it obvious I'm not just joking around.

>>20564796
Yeah, that's my greatest worry here. It's strange, because he is in his mid 20s and lives on his own, I thought it was just basement dwellers who acting this way towards online people.

>>20564805
Hmm... Could hope that's the case here, but we haven't talked enough about personal stuff to make me feel like he would value our friendship over that. Mostly because of how he normally acts towards "girlz" online.

>>20564812
I'm going to assume there at least is a chance that he isn't this bad in real life. I don't want to write if off before at least giving it a chance.
>Just be very careful about how you meet up with him. Doing an all-nighter at his place is basically asking him to rape you, so make sure you are 100% sure you can trust him before you do anything too private with him.
That's a very cynical view... but I guess it wouldn't hurt to at least veer on the safe side here.
>>
>>20564820
>That's a very cynical view
I think it's cynical to claim he'd rape you but going over to a guy's house and staying all night has all kinds of subtext that you may not be meaning to convey. Don't go to a guy's house for the night unless you want to sleep with him.

> I thought it was just basement dwellers who acting this way towards online people.
I know several dudes who are reasonably successful in terms of money and career and socialising who will bust out the fedora if a girl so much as smiles at them. It's not even conscious.
>>
>>20564820
>Mostly because of how he normally acts towards "girlz" online.
That's the most worrying. Figure out what you want to do. If you feel like it's not the best and he may not react well, I'd consider maybe reevaluating the friendship or something. If he can't respect you because you're a girl, then he's a pretty shitty friend.
>>
>>20564820
>That's a very cynical view...
Take it from someone who Has personally burned on that pyre: it happens. You may not end in that situation, but I would strongly advice against doing anything until you are absolutely 100% sure it's alright.

I had a friend I trusted 100%. No problems at first, I wasn't interested in dating at all, and he had a girlfriend at first. We became very close, and helped each other a lot. Things happened, his girlfriend cheated, and I invited him over to stay at my apartment on a mattress in my livingroom, so he had a place to sleep while he found a new place to live. I got raped on the second night, woken up from my sleep. Never saw it coming, and I wasn't given a choice.

These kinds of guys are unstable, but not to the point where you necessarily knows it before it's too late. So seriously: be extremely careful.
>>
>dating ex-gf again for about 2 months, or something like that
>at first she was like "don't get your hopes up"
>now we've made out at a mutual friends house party
>kissing good bye whenever she drives me home
>sex ofc too

just got home from her place
i asked her if she had to leave early in the morning, she told me
> i have an appointment
i ask her what she's doing
>i'm going to see a buddy
and after some prying she tells me she's seeing a close male friend of hers, for breakfast...
instead of telling me outright "oh i'm meeting up with xyz", she had to put it under a layer of covering up
of course she went a little mad, she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to get bad thoughts
at the same time though she wouldn't rub it under my nose if she's meeting up with someone

like, what the fuck?
she took her gym back as we were going "yeah i might do some sport later"
oh and they haven't decided where they'll eat so they are actually meeting up, not "just for breakfast"
>>
>>20564951
you're about to get cucked
>>
>>20564957
am i or is this just a shit test
>>
>>20564951
>dating ex-gf again for about 2 months, or something like that
>>at first she was like "don't get your hopes up"
So... You are literally just having a bit of FwB fun, was outright told this, and you are only now realizing this isn't an exclusive thing...?
>>
>>20564976
well, she did tell me that at first but her actions have gone from "just fwb" to way more than that
she didn't kiss me goodbye at first, or even when we're at a party
she talked with her mother about seeing me again and some of her friends
she planned a 3 day trip on my birthday, in march
we're going on a trip next weekend, to a spa and brunching
that's nothing you do with a fwb... imo
>>
>>20564984
>suddenly adding a ton of information vital to giving advice on the situation
You literally went from saying it was a FwB to You having tons of plans and things going together. Fuck off.
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>>20564990
i never said that we're fwb...?
>>
>>20564951
>>20564984
Protip: make these things clear in your first post.

Actual advice: either she isn't going exclusive with you just yet, or she got a friend and knows you would likely throw a fit if you found out.

As someone who has a male, purely platonic friend, I know that feeling of dread, having to tell someone I am dating that I have a long time guy friend I spend time with occasionally. There is just no good way to break it, and so many guys are way too insecure to handle it.

Confront her if you have to, make sure to properly sit her down and figure out if this is a friend or a sex buddy, and figure out with yourself if this is okay or not. If you can't be okay with it, break it off. Don't be a child and go the "him or me" route, it will forever tarnish the relationship.

Besides, you already broke up once. This almost assuredly won't work out either.
>>
>>20564993
>>20564951
>at first she was like "don't get your hopes up"
>>now we've made out at a mutual friends house party
That was certainly implied in your first post, you just assumed these lines meant more than they actually do.

Your second post paints an entirely different picture, and basically turns it from a bit of fooling around, to a serious relationship already brewing.
>>
>>20564859
>I had a friend I trusted 100%. No problems at first, I wasn't interested in dating at all, and he had a girlfriend at first. We became very close, and helped each other a lot. Things happened, his girlfriend cheated, and I invited him over to stay at my apartment on a mattress in my livingroom, so he had a place to sleep while he found a new place to live. I got raped on the second night, woken up from my sleep. Never saw it coming, and I wasn't given a choice.

Nani the absolute fuck?

It still blows my mind that there are dudes who do this kind of shit.
>>
>>20565004
i know that guy, i know that she has a lot of male friends and i don't have a problem with that
the problem is, the way she was hideing it, not saying outright who she's seeing

for example, last week she told me she didn't have any time, i asked what her plans were and she told me she was meeting some other guy friend, an ex of hers from years and years ago, no problem with that

>sit her down and figure out if this is a friend or a sex buddy,
how would i go on about this without throwing a fit?
she was a bit mad yesterday, telling me she didn't want me to think bad about it

>>20565009
i guess i should've mentioned it yeah
>>
>>20564993
>i never said that we're fwb...?
>don't get your hopes up for a relationship. We can kiss and fuck though
Textbook fwb.

Just clarify with her if you are exclusive or not. More often than not, asking from your side is better than accusing her. If she responds poorly to you asking if you two are exclusive, with the implied idea that you might want to fuck around, she likely isn't sleeping with someone else.
>>
>>20565013
>Textbook fwb.
making plans months in advance?
showing people, mutual friends, that there's something going on?
kissing goodbye in public?
> If she responds poorly
wouldn't that suggest she's sleeping around?
>>
>>20565004
>I know that feeling of dread
Much easier to come clean than giving the guy some serious food for thoughts though.
>>
>>20565012
>the problem is, the way she was hideing it, not saying outright who she's seeing
Again, it's a sensitive topic. It quickly gets awkward, and you are afraid of making it come out wrong, which makes it come out worse, ironically.

>how would i go on about this without throwing a fit?
>she was a bit mad yesterday, telling me she didn't want me to think bad about it
I'm assuming you are adults, so sit her down, amd have a serious talk about your relationship. No assumptions, just go back on forth on where you are, where you want to go, and whether or not you are exclusive. Tell her to be honest, and be honest yourself, and go through the scenario that she might be sleeping with someone else at the moment, thinking you are still not exclusive. Even if she isn't, you need to be sure of how you would want to react, and whether it would be a dealbreaker to you or not.

Different people different strokes. We can't tell you how to feel about the situation.
>>
>>20565015
>wouldn't that suggest she's sleeping around?
More often than not, it would be a relief if you asked her if you were allowed to see other people, and she was already doing that. Gives her an excuse when you later find out she is indeed sleeping around.

If she reacts poorly, she likely hates the idea, and wouldn't think to do it herself.

If course, there are the sociopaths who thinks it's fine for them to cheat, but not their partner. But those tend to be men, because or that " master key" analogy that certain men likes to being up.
>>
>>20565019
And better for both to get it out of the way early. No point hiding it to have it break you apart later down the line.

But I just know how hard it is from experience. I usually find a good excuse to point it out early, for both of our sakes, but it definitely isn't getting easier.
>>
>>20565025
reading your post kinda calms me down a bit, thinking this might just be exactly like you're saying
how'd i even word it without putting her in the defense
i'm fine with him being just a friend, her having male friends, no problem
but if they're fucking or have fucked in the last like 2 months we were rekindling things, i'd be gone

also, i find it weird that she hasn't asked me a single time if i'm seeing someone else or even sleeping with someone else


>>20565031
hmm i see, i'll sit her down and ask her, exclusivity is a pretty big deal for me
since we're having unprotected sex the last like 3,4 weeks now
>>
>>20565011
He claimed he thought I wanted it, despite having told him multiple times this was purely a friendly gesture, I had closed the door to my bedroom and slept in a pyjamas, to ensure I gave no wrong hints. And he silenced me with a hand, and forcefully held me down, instead of at least *trying* to give me an option of saying no. And he mysteriously left right afterwards, in the middle of the night.

It's pretty sick. I still can't understand how these kinds of people rationalize this. The scariest part for me is that he literally showed no signs of this up until this point.

It's making it pretty hard to trust guys, unless I already know I want to have sex with them.
>>
>>20565047
I'm reading this, and all I can think is
>what if you had wanted it
I don't think it would have mattered how much I liked the guy, this would never have been okay. I could have been gushing at the thought of him, and masturbated daily to fantasies involving him, and I would still not have been okay with this.
>>
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How do i get a gf?
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>>20565047
Jesus anon that sucks.
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>>20565061
Don't be a namefag.
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What is the general consensus on skelly bois?
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>>20565078
They're pretty cute honestly
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>>20565078
Cute. Usually adds a point or two to their appearance for me, as long as they aren't outright creepy looking due to makeup or awful wardrobe choices.
>>
Where do I find nerdy dudes outside of my social circle who are willing to interact with a rando? I go to a local gaming cafe and whilst the fellas are nice enough, they're difficult to coax into conversations even when I'm playing against them. I figure I'm looking in the wrong place. Any advice?
>>
>>20565111
So what you're looking for is guys with nerdy interests but who are also confident enough to talk to you?

Yeah you're looking in the wrong place.
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>>20565115
Well, confident enough to respond to conversations. I was only looking there because I enjoy going there to play games. Where would you recommend finding nerdy guys who want to talk if it's not a communal games area?
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>>20565078
Wtf brooooo, eat some food my nigga are you from Yemen?
>>
>>20565047
Did you report him to the police?
>>
>>20565121
No idea. The only nerds I'm friends with are like you're describing and they wouldn't really know how to talk to you.

Just talk to normal dudes in normal places. Men tend to run nerdier than girls on average.
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>>20565132
Nah, I'm not into normal dudes. I run far nerdier than the average guy and everyone wants a cute nerd girl until they realise what that actually means and then want her not to be a nerd any more.

I'm not really fussed if they don't know how to talk to me, I just want people willing to respond. I thought I was being an annoying nightmare for a while before one of the other fellas clued me in.
>>
>>20565142
Visit other cafes? There must be some well-adjusted guy sitting in one of them who likes to talk to girls.

Look for the guys who pay attention to how they dress.
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>>20565153
There aren't really any other ones near by. Those gentlemen tend to already have partners, but I will keep an eye out, thank you.
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>>20565111
Bumping myself
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>>20565074
Ok, what then?
>>
>>20565206
You've failed the first step. Pass the first step first.
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>>20565127
Yeah... It wasn't exactly my preferred choice of action, reporting a friend to the cops was not a fun experience.
>>
>>20565047
That's what you get for dealing with stupid as fuck Incel Nice Guys.
>>
>>20565218
Oh no, but i like Hollywood Undead can i get gf now?

https://youtu.be/eGNSzKzaidg
>>
>>20565228
>Treat Incels like people!!! It's not their fault, it's cultural!! Stop assuming the worst.
>That's what you get for treating incels like people, you should've known better

Honestly women just can't win.
>>
>>20565230
No. You failed the first step. Pass the first step first.
>>
>>20565244
Fuckkkk, why does it have to be like this, i just dont want to be virgin

https://youtu.be/bl0e5DrYLyY
>>
dated a guy and all was going well until he pulled away. First, he stopped meeting me anymore. Then the texting became infrequent although he always responded when I texted first. Then I asked what we are in his opinion, so he said we are friends with benefits. I told him I don't want to fuck anymore then and maybe we won't meet anymore. He said he's still like to be friends and meet me. Yet he's canceled on our meetings for two times in a row now. I confronted him about that, too, and said I've been really hurt about that, and sad, and that I care about him a lot. He said "the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you" and that " he wants to have more time for me". He told me he fucked up his money issues in a bad way and has no one to talk about it to. Didn't want to talk to me about it either. I told him I have problems too, like being broken up over relationships and being so sensitive and hurt over things like canceling, but that I don't want to place too much blame on him. The truth is though, I still cry at nights over him and I'm unsure of what he even thinks or intends. I'm unsure of what to do. I don't want to give up this person completely, since he has helped me realize some of my goals and is special to me as a friend or as a lover. I just miss him too much and it hurts how distant he is being.
>>
>girl consistently viewing my Instagram stories
>but hasn't even read my text yet
So is she interested or not?
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>>20565260
Drop him. You'll be so much better off without that stressor in your life.
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>>20565262
No, sorry
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>>20565267
I think so too. Still, why do you suppose he keeps hanging me on by a thread like this? The other day he even invited me to his home but I didn't go since he said he would just be doing homework
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>>20565280
He wants your attention but probably isn't interested enough to date you.
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>>20565290
I know he isn't and said so. But I'd like to be his friend, since I haven't met anyone like that in a long while and we had such good times together. I'm done hoping for more than that and I just wish we could meet. More info: he told me he has been badly stressed because he's ass deep in debt and struggling to pay it off. I'm gonna give him space to deal with it but gonna continue hoping for a sign, but not forever. I will ask to formally break up with him if the situation doesn't change at all in few weeks tops
>>
>>20565292
Don't let yourself be strung along like that. I was in a similar, though not as intense situation with a girl I was rejected by whom I still wanted to be friends with.
Long story short, you deserve to be careful about, and they clearly don't care about you at all. You can do better than him. At best, he's just going to come back to you when he wants his ego stroked and then ditch you again.
>>
Asking both
>she tries to initiate conversation with me and gets "touchy" often
>but when it comes to texting she's slow af when it comes to answer, plus she barely uses social media
Should I even bother texting her? Are there any ways to keep a conversation going?
>>
>>20565302
How can you be sure he doesnt care though?
>>
>>20565292
>formally break up with him

Bitch he already told you there's nothing going on between the two of you. If your formally break up with him he's going to be like
>huh? but we aren't dating and haven't even seen each other in months?
>>
>>20565228
>Incel
>whose girlfriend cheated on him
Has incel already lost its meaning or something? That was fast.
>>
>>20565311
Ask her out and talk in person.
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>>20565329
I just want to end the thing in person and not be in this fucking limbo
>>
>>20564702
Why the fuck are you so contradictory? Sucking cocks means you're not a virgin, and girls are less likely to go for someone who might give them the hiv
>>
>>20564712
Why are you so broken up over a claimed woman? Why are you attracted to a gf that would engage in flirting with new strangers?
>>
>>20565315
If he did he wouldn't be so distant.
>>
Is there anything an ugly girl can do to make you forget she's ugly? Some ugly dudes can do things thing where by being funny or charming or mysterious, it kind of negates their looks and they end up getting partners far more attractive than them. In the past, it's feels like I've had guys go after me because they know I know I'm ugly and that makes me easy game, so I'd just like to be able to avoid that in future.

Dunno if I've explained well but any advice from dudes would be appreciated.
>>
>>20564717
Grow a backbone
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>>20565358
>Why the fuck are you so contradictory?
Did you read the post? Like, at all? It's a guy asking if girls would mind a bisexual virgin, and then he goes on to ask if it would be alright if he had fucked guys. The post I responded to was contradictory itself.
>Sucking cocks means you're not a virgin, and girls are less likely to go for someone who might give them the hiv
Well duh, that's also what I said in my post. Did you respond to the wrong post, or do you just have some issues you would like to talk about here?
>>
>>20564746
Your gf plays DnD, you are definitely a major cuck
>>
>>20564781
What a little girl
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>>20565378
He could be telling the truth about buying busy and stressed. I know his life is super hectic and the reason he and his ex broke up was because he didn't have enough time for her. And I know his life is hard now because of the money issue.
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>>20565386
Not the person you're responding to, but I gotta understand this logic. How does it work?
>>
Why do I always get obsessed over men who obviously don't care about me?
>>
>>20564154
Cure Ur oneitis, fuck as many different chicks as it takes to realise they're all the same. Best of luck to you bro
>>
>>20565395
Because they proved their worth to you by showing that they have a stronger frame. Or you just got a crush because you like guys with long eyebrows or something
>>
So I've finally taken the advice and I'm no longer texting my dude friend back so I can get over him. I feel guilty and sick but I can't think of any other way so. I told him I was really busy at the moment but he'll notice by tomorrow that I'm not responding cuz it's his day off and we usually chill together irl. What excuse can I use the next time I see him (probs at a mutual friends) that puts the onus on me without telling him the truth? I don't want him to feel like he's done something wrong at all.
>>
Where the Hell do you incels hang out?

Literally all guys I meet, even the ones that I swear act like virgin's, all seem to have fucked at least 5 different girls.

How do I spot the virgin's, girls? And where do you virgin guys hang out? I don't want to lose it to some whore infested parasite.
>>
>>20565439
>she thinks guys are being honest about their total amount of sex partners
Guys lie about this. Guaranteed a lot of those retards thought they would do better if they lied and told you they were Chads.
>>
>>20564694
>How do I show a woman I am interested in them without bothering them?
By asking them out. It doesn't bother them. Actually they love it, even if they say no, because it gives them free attention and validation.

>>20564746
No, your reaction is normal. She betrayed you by doing that. She might as well say that you're number 2 priority.

Situations like this, just flip it around. Imagine if you did this to her, with another nice girl, for a feminine activity.

>>20564778
Not a girl but I think it's emotional harmony, women love to sync their egos with other beings. The fact that it's a huge beast and they have control over it (like a man-woman relationship simulation). And since they have large penises, girls are subconsciously attracted to horses.

i love horse girls:)

>>20565379
Being very virtuous. Giving me nothing to worry about. It's so hard to find a good woman,so a little behavior will easily trump a lot of beauty.

A man would be stupid to leave you if you were very good.

>>20565395
Not trying to be cliche but how's your relationship with your father? Maybe start there
>>
>>20565393
Not him but it's like playing gold with your wife or something. It's a bro's activity. Women are beautiful and fun, but they have their place. And it's not DnD.
>>
>>20565449
My father was an alcoholic and disappeared from my life early. I don't want this to dictate my success with men or lack thereof.
>>
>>20565449
> man would be stupid to leave you if you were very good
It feels like every man I've ever met or spoken to has a different concept of what a "good" woman is.
>>
>>20565450
Holy shit you are crazy. I thought men like you were some sort of feminazi nightmare. Imagine thinking that people's place wasn't playing a game for fun.
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>>20565449
>Situations like this, just flip it around. Imagine if you did this to her, with another nice girl, for a feminine activity.
As a girl, I would be alright with this.

I would be pissed about not getting the invite, obviously, but I would not have a problem with him going for a feminine activity with a girlfriend of one of his friends, that I wouldn't want to do in the first place. Just because I'm boring, doesn't mean he needs to suffer. We are in a relationship, we are meant to thrive together, not keep each other down.
>>
>>20565450
>Women are beautiful and fun, but they have their place. And it's not DnD.
Reminder not to listen to Peanut Butter, everybody. Just in case the the early reminder wasn't enough, he does it himself quite clearly here.
>>
>>20565463
Seconding this, we another femanon. The biggest issue was the invitation wasn't extended, not that she dared to chill with her friend's partner. I couldn't imagine being so insecure in my relationship that this would be the issue.
>>
>Confess to friend that I like her, she doesn't feel the same and just want to be friends
>Fine by me as I enjoy being around her
>Invite her to a gig I'm going to with friends, she accepts even though it's a 3 hour journey for her
>Have fun, but she's quiet and instead of rushing off early she stays for a drink and misses her last train
>Gets a taxi and says goodbye
>Drop her a text asking if she got home alright and if she wants to see another gig on valentine's Day
>Doesn't read or reply to the message for 3 days, says she doesn't know and asks me for some songs to check out
>Send her my favourites and explain that this gig is closer to home as she was worried about getting back
>Doesn't read or reply to the message for 6 days
>Replies "ok"

It's very clear she doesn't want to come, should I just say "It's alright if you don't want to come" or "If things are awkward for you, you can say so. You don't have to come"

I want to be her friend, but the fact she's taken days to see and reply to the message and she didn't even ask for the time or locations shows she doesn't want to come.
>>
>>20565450
>they have their place. And it's not DnD.
As a /tg/ regular, and DnD GM, that depends ENTIRELY on the game in question.

Most girls do DnD way better than guys, as long as they actually are willing to learn the rules.
>>
>>20565450
Men like you legitimately push women further left every time you open your mouths. Do the rest of the world a favor and kys before they all become feminists.
>>
>>20565452
I understand femanon. My mother was abusive, the dominos fall,and I had problems with women when I became an adult. I overcame them by a lot of hard self-reflection.

I don't know much about you, but I get the feeling like you need to prove yourself to other men. Like when a father doesn't love his own daughter, his own family... what does the girl usually think?
"it's my fault" or "i'm not good enough". So she tries harder and harder to prove her worth to her father, which never comes around. It's dreadful for a kid and leaves an empty hole in her heart.

I'll talk about myself again for a moment: My mother never loved me, she outright hated me. Men need to feel loved... I have this need and it was missing from me. So as an adult, I carried around this hole in my heart, where my mother's love should have been, and tried to take it from my girlfriends. It was too much. I always drained too much from them and the relationships fell apart. It was wrong of me to treat them like that. Eventually I had to realize that this hole will never be filled. As much as I'll love my wife, I never never, ever ask her to be my mother. I'll carry this hole until I die. I will hurt.... yes.... but I will not hurt others.

Perhaps something similar is in you. You can't help how you feel. It's real and it's valid. You need to prove yourself, and this feeling will never go away. But even if one of these men did, somehow change and show interest, I think you know it'll never satisfy this hole in your heart where your father should be. Try to separate the missing love from your father, from the love you need from your boyfriend/husband. It's possible. It will hurt forever, probably, but cherish that pain and make sure you find the best man for your kids. So your daughter will have the security of having a loving dad. You can turn an evil into a good with a pinch of strength.
>>
>>20565469
I'd say either something happened in her life unrelated to you, or she is not dealing well with your confession.

Coupled with this being valentines day, she is likely worried it might mean something more. And it probably bothers her a lot more than it seems.

Rejections aren't easy when it is a good friend. I've had the same issue before, with a male friend I couldn't see myself with, but after he confessed, I just kinda broke down. I knew I realistically couldn't date him without having to break it up at some point, but I felt awful for having rejected him as well. It's just a terrible situation to be in, and it requires some time to get used to the idea. It is why a lot of friendships die due to these sorts of things.

I don't know what you can do to make this easier, to be honest. Letting her opt out might be the beginning of the end of your friendship, simply because she'll distance herself as much as possible. Making her go is probably the best bet, honestly. Even if she seems a bit off at first, she'll most likely get used to it at some point. I did, it just took a while.
>>
>>20565452
You really shouldn't listen to Peanut Butter. His advice is terrible.
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>>20565485
She's already taking days to reply to my messages so I'd say the friendship is already done. I've dealt with her rejection and honestly it's fuelled me to improve myself. I don't want to lose the friendship but I'd also prefer it if she straight up just said "I can't be friends anymore" rather than string me along as she gradually pulls away.

That's why I want to give her an out, but I don't know how to word it without seeming passive aggressive.

Thanks for the advice.
>>
>>20565455
Virtue is thing that produce love.

A litmus test I use is a simple question:
>If I do _________ more, or less; will I love them more or less?

Try it. Would you love your bf more or less if he was:
-More/less beautiful
-Rich
-Interested in a hobby
Probably not, right?

What about:
-More/less patient
-kind
-loving
-reliable
Probably so?

The traits that attract us to other people aren't always virtues. But the traits that make us *love* other people are always virtues. If you want security with your man, and to make him love you, it helps to understand really what a virtue is.

> concept of what a "good" woman is.
So when a lot of guys say they want a "good" woman, they often get selfish and make demands, but they're not always of virtue. Hopefully you can see what I'm suggesting more clearly now.

Wikipedia covers it well too
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtue
>>
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>>20565469
I am so sick and tired of retards on this board, like for real
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>>20565460
>Holy shit you are crazy.
so I've been told!

>>20565463
>I would be pissed about not getting the invite
That's what he was pissed about. I agree with you on everything.

>>20565470
I defer to your expertise. Unfortunately I know very little about DnD... I'm more of a WoW guy.
>>
>>20565496
K
>>
Will my life and my happiness in relatpships improve if I try to accept everything and not fight the truth?
>>
>>20565262
Anyone?
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>>20565497
>I defer to your expertise. Unfortunately I know very little about DnD... I'm more of a WoW guy.
DnD is inherently a role-playing game. No matter how number crunchy you get, it is not just a combat simulator at the end of the day, and most guys are too autistic to roleplay properly.

Sure, you do get the odd snowflake girls, and girls being into DnD just for the attention does exists, like "Gamer Girls", but they are much rarer, and tends to develop into good players if you guide them properly during the early sessions.

I've had some really good characters come out of girls, where guys tend to go for their idealized self, who murderhobo through the story.
>>
>>20565384
I responded to the wrong post lol
>>
>>20564471
Why are you so contradictory? Sucking cock means you aren't a virgin. Please keep your aids dick away from the women of this world
>>
>>20564984
We told you to clarify with her, man. We said this was always a risk unless you clarified with her.
>>
>>20565574
what words do i use though
>>
>>20565379
The honest answer is to show that you would be a good partner. Attentive and motivated, but also submissive in the sense that you would be a good girlfriend/wife. My fiancé doesn’t look half as good as the last 2 long term relationships i had when I was younger, but she’s the absolutely ideal person to start a family with.

Show that you can be a team player, and act like “the mom” of your friend group. You’d be surprised how attractive this is to mature young guys.

Hope that helps.
>>
I have a rather controversial question, but I'll go ahead anyway.
>Date guy back when we were 17, kinda didn't fit together, but our hobbies align, and we get along just fine. Basically becomes a FwB instead, with very few feelings involved.
>sorta ends up becoming a permanent thing.
>now, 9 years later, still together.
>not really doing much together other than game, even sleep in different rooms
>we married for some reason a few years ago, it sorta made sense to do, but we earn the same, so it didn't really matter.
>we mostly just do our own thing
So personally, I didn't mind this all that much, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought of having a more stimulating relationship. We do have sex occasionally, but it is very sporadic. Then...

(1/2, post too long)
>>
>>20565439
You’re putting the cart before the horse. You shouldn’t be chasing someone down to lose your virginity, it should be a special thing that comes naturally.

You have the right idea though of trying to find a place to hang out where the guys aren’t constantly fucking around. Ever consider that maybe a lot of them are virgins and they are lying about having sex?
>>
>>20565591
So I start spotting strange signs
>condoms in his bag, which we never use (only doing it raw), weird red spots on his neck, and a strange smell I can't quite place, but seems to be perfume if I had to guess.
>leave it alone, the only reason I hadn't cheated yet, was because I still felt a sense of loyalty towards this thing we had going, even if it never really went anywhere. I would personally have broken it off first, but idk, he apparently didn't want to lose what we have either.
>see a strange post on Twitter congratulating him on his birthday, with a picture of a lipstick-kiss on a piece of male underwear attached, which was deleted less than a minute after I saw it
>saw who it was, and try to confront her
>it's a co-worker of his, they have been sleeping together for 2 years now
Now... I am a bit torn on what to do, honestly. Because i don't mind the arrangement we have, and I still like him, albeit more as a friend than a lover and husband. It hurts a bit that he broke my trust, but that's mostly it. We can talk that out no problem.

What I would like advice on, specifically, is whether I should:
>try to look around for a guy to spark some interest in me, and do what he did, just quietly accepting that this is how our relationship is now
Or
>confront him directly, and ask if we should just have an open relationship
And if this one is preferred, how do I best go about it? Ideally, I don't want this to crash and burn.

Alternative suggestions would also be appreciated. I realise it's a pretty specific kind of situation, but I don't really have any good place to ask this sort of thing.

I am mostly interested in the opinion of guys who cheat/have an open relationship, just to get an understanding of how to best go about this.
>>
How to get over a guy that doesn't care while I'm obsessed?
>>
>>20565604
>>it's a co-worker of his, they have been sleeping together for 2 years now
>2 of your 9 years sleeping around
broooo............
>>
>>20565600
>You’re putting the cart before the horse. You shouldn’t be chasing someone down to lose your virginity, it should be a special thing that comes naturally.
That's why I am not looking for someone who just wants more names to add to his list. I want a guy with as much experience as myself (aka. None). I'm not looking to lose my virginity, I am looking for someone who isn't just out to take it.
>You have the right idea though of trying to find a place to hang out where the guys aren’t constantly fucking around. Ever consider that maybe a lot of them are virgins and they are lying about having sex?
I can't use that... I don't know where they would hang around, and I don't know what to do about them lying. If they lie as the first thing, they wouldn't be worth much anyway.
>>
Would it be weird if I went to higher ed just to meet people?
>>
>>20565610
I met my fiancé through a job, and my other long term relationships through several different situations, so it’s hard for me to pinpoint what a good “spot” is but possibly think of general area (are you in a good town, are you on a college campus etc.)

Provide more context on your situation there and we can probably help steer you in the right direction
>>
Ladies, would you let a guy hold your hand if you don't like them romantically
>>
>>20565604
Just gonna say up front that open relationships that didn’t start open are just asking for trouble. However, if you could shed some light on if you guys have plans to have children or anything like that, it would make it easier to see if it’s worth it or if it would work
>>
>>20565632
>city
Decent sized, about 50k people here according to Wikipedia.
>Provide more context on your situation there and we can probably help steer you in the right direction
IT consultant, basically just work as this ad hoc thing where I drive around to a couple of customers to fix their stuff, or help setup new computers for newcomers. I basically don't have co-workers, and a lot of the time, my job is done externally, so I don't even visit the location.

I don't have many good options anymore. I kinda missed my shot during my education, and I'm severely regretting not finding someone at the time, but I was a bit too busy getting straight As to worry about it, unfortunately.
>>
>>20565641
>if you could shed some light on if you guys have plans to have children or anything like that, it would make it easier to see if it’s worth it or if it would work
No kids. Or, well, he doesn't want it, I sorta did a few years back. It is part of the "we don't really fit together" thing. I would want kids if the situation was different, but I've kinda just accepted that it won't happen at this point.
>>
>>20565606
You have to make the difficult and brave choice to cut him out of your life. Delete from phone, hide/block on social media, and avoid him. It will never work out, so why put yourself through a ton of pain for the next (weeks, months, years, etc.) when you could do the painful thing now and in a month you’ll feel like a brand new person?
>>
>>20565644
Nah you did the right thing for your happiness, trust me. Do you want a family?

I believe I have a good piece of advice. Join a professional networking organization. You have a legit job, and many networking places want members from every field. This is a great place to meet GOOD people with goals and dreams that work hard. The more I think about my experience in one, the more I think that if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship already, that would have been the perfect place to meet a like-minded partner to start a life with.
>>
>>20565604
>>20565591
This is why I reject guys over the most uselessly small things. Because I am mortally afraid of ending in a relationship like this, where I don't give a shit about it at all, to the point where my reaction to cheating is literally
>that stung a bit, why didn't you just tell me, so I could sleep around as well?
>>
>>20565665
>Join a professional networking organization.
Hmm... I'll look around a bit. I think I filed some advertisement like that as spam a while ago.

I would kinda think that most guys at such a place would be the exact type of person I would want to avoid, though. Maybe I'm a bit jaded from some of the companies I've worked for, and stories I've heard, but it just seems like so many professionals like that, tend to sleep around, even those who are married.

Could be I am just extremely prejudicial right now, I don't know. Guess it's worth a try, if nothing else, it would at least also help my career a bit, probably.
>>
>>20564024
I’m a bi girl lol
I moved to a different place so I made this dating profile because I was nervous about making new friends and meeting people. This girl started chatting with me and it turns out we were moving to the same place from other places, around the same time. Somehow our conversation turned into the joys of public pissing lol and it was kind of hot but the conversation eventually dies after a couple days. We initially said we wanted to hang out when we were both there. I was so overwhelmed with the moving process and forgot about it until now. Should I hit her up?
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>>20565711
In addition, are there any bi or lesbians here? Does anybody else feel nervous about making a gay move. I’m always caught between genuinely wanting to be friends with a girl vs the internalized homophobia and misogyny where I’m afraid of treating a girl like men do and girls are lowkey afraid of lesbians because of how men behave, and I don’t want to weird somebody out when they truly wanted to be friends. I guess the friendship vs love thing is common with everybody but I mean in a more lesbian and girl specific way that has different nuances
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>>20564483
have fun w ur couch bro
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>>20565747
I don't feel like I can give good advice on this, unfortunately, as I have never had any luck myself. I only got lucky because someone basically picked me up and made me hers.
>lesbian girl
I had some awful first experiences. Guys never meant much to me, and when I had my first experience, it was just a girl who was fooling around, and made a public mockery out of me afterwards. Later when I tried to actually date, my first attempt with a girl I was *so sure* was gay, resulted in her punching me in my face. Second attempt got me laughed at, and subsequently ghosted, with a last "you are disgusting" message to ensure I didn't contact her again.

I never tried again afterwards, and thankfully, I didn't have to. Trying to date girls suck. Thet are way more homophobic than it would appear at a glance.
>>
Where do you guys and girls distinct between FWB and a relationship
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>>20565771
Yeah it makes me sad because I totally understand it and it’s like this weird compulsory feeling that I can’t even help myself because it’s so ground into me that I’m “gross” or whatever. It’s like when boys ask it’s kind of seen as expectant but also scary sometimes (because boys usually don’t understand No), so girls carry the fear over to gay girls and also add on homophobia

Also I genuinely want platonic girl friends around me so it’s pretty easy for me to squash any feelings about a girl. I definitely don’t have them towards EVERY girl tho, it’s usually to other girls who are openly gay and I have a specific type. Like if somebody seems straight I usually am not attracted, and i usually don’t get attracted to people unless I get to know them, so attraction is kind of rare. This one girl I feel weird feels for tho and I think she migggght be into me? But we didn’t chat beyond the first couple days so idk
I’m kind of rambling here but it’s hard to talk about this stuff irl
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>>20565782
Physically both people say it’s a relationship = relationship. If people say it’s not a relationship or just say friends and hang out but have sex = FWB
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>>20565789
Do you have to say it? Aren't actions different in those situations?
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>>20565792
Yeah you have to actually say it

I mean if you ask me not considering societal weird terms, I would say that every single interaction is a relationship with another person, but that’s not what you mean lol
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>>20565799
So you'd still be FWB after a one week trip just the two of you to some foreign country?
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>>20565802
Yeah lol trust me. Went with a trip with somebody for a few days and we had sex. We had sex before then too but he straight up told me multiple times that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me.
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>>20565804
So you were naive thinking he might change his opinion?
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>>20565809
It’s been 5 years and he still doesn’t want one with me, but dated other people
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>>20565812
5 Years you've been somewhat together?
>dated other people
Why not be in a relationship
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>>20565575
Honestly I recommended something countless threads ago. You didn't take the advice then and kept on asking the same question and continued to ignore the advice given by others. The situation has changed now that you've had a disagreement. I'm saying you should have asked back then, not that it's a solution for your current situation.
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>>20565821
sadly i didn't save it anon
>The situation has changed now that you've had a disagreement.
has it though
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>>20565785
Not sure why they dislike lesbians so much, I guess it might just be that it is essentially a guy in a female body, except with a very low physical intimidation level, so that they aren't afraid of resorting to physical violence if they have to. It does make some kind of sense, I suppose.

>This one girl I feel weird feels for tho and I think she migggght be into me? But we didn’t chat beyond the first couple days so idk
I wish i could help you, but I've missed the mark when a girl was being overly complimenting towards me, praising my appearance, and seemingly trying to help me build some confidence, and even playfully grabbing my breasts. When I confessed to her, she punched me and called me disgusting.

I have given up trying to understand the signs that girls give. It literally feels impossible. The girl that picked me up had heard people gossip about me being confirmed gay, and that was probably why she had no problems approaching, I would assume. Or maybe she just had more courage in that regard, I don't know.

I think your best bet would probably be to give it a try here, and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, look around on dating apps specifically for lesbians. Might work out better for finding someone.

As for the platonic, I can't say I relate to that. I usually only get male friends, girls are generally pretty lame and poor friends in my experience.
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>>20565814
I mean I specifically asked him and that’s what he said dude. All you can do is ask him. I mean you can have relationships with people that are complex, but I know you specifically mean an exclusive relationship between two people. If he says yes then yes. If he says no then no. Just ask him. If you can spend so much time together then you can at least ask him what he thinks of you. It depends on how each person defines relationships
>>
>>20565604
>>20565591
Bump.

I would really like some advice on this.
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>>20565826
>I usually only get male friends
Roasties, Jesus Christ.
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>>20565802

Life is not made of hard labels.
>>
Opinion needed - I’m a femanon with a higher sexual count than I’d like to admit. Most of it is due to my history of low self esteem, and a couple were from bad situations in college that are borderline rape. I’ve been tested for STDs and am clean. If you found out this out about a girl you were dating and otherwise liked how bad would it be?
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>>20565834
Triggert Bert
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>>20565844
Personally I am dead inside now and not interested in Sex for like 4 or 5 years
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>>20565834
>Lesbian with only male friends
>Roastie
?
>>
>>20565844

Impossible to answer. I don't know you, I haven't formed an idea about you except "girl that slept around because of lowe self esteem, kinda raped".

So yeah, I don't know if you still have low self esteem, if it shows, if you are a slut, if you are desperate for attention, or the opposite, of course.

I just don't know if that would be a revelation or if it would be obvious from the start.
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>>20565844
It happened to me and it bothered me, looking back I think I shouldn't have care as long as long it doesn't come with relationship issues.
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>>20565853
It would probably be a revelation, not obvious. That’s the past, I am different now.
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>>20565621
It's a very expensive way to meet people.
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>>20565857
>It would probably be a revelation, not obvious.

That's kinda hard for you to gauge, don't you think?
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>>20565635
Straight guy? Nah, wouldn't want to lead him on.
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>>20565861
True. But let’s assume you didn’t know about my self esteem issues because my present behavior doesn’t indicate it at all.
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>>20565604
Well honesty is always the best policy. So tell him how you feel and what you desire, then handle his response, no matter what it may be. Simple.

But my advice to you is to decide what you want in life. 8 years femanon? That's a long time to be blase casual. You clearly have a lot of emotional distance from... basically everything, including your marriage.

Emotional distance. Why? what are you afraid of?

Anyway, I think you should fine something in life you can feel truly emotionally close to. Adopt a dog if you have to. Just something that you can cherish and feel a inseverable sense of importance with. You're robbing yourself of your human experience if you don't.

>>20565606
Well I guess stop being obsessed would be your first step :)

>>20565621
Nope. I hold a belief that most women in university are there only for social reason.

>>20565782
There is no such thing as FWB. It's just a casual relationship. For people who are too afraid of serious relationships. (Including FOMO)

>>20565844
It's pretty high up there. Most guys, most good men will not touch you.
Me personally, it wouldn't be a problem because of my past, but I would have trouble feeling emotionally close to you and would feel to embarrassed to marry you. I'd probably love you and start a family if you're a good woman, but we'd be cohabitants not spouses. What's more important than your sexual background is if you're a good person. If you can be trusted is the most important I think.

It's like a guy being a failure his whole life. Sitting on the couch with crumbs on his shirt, weed, and TV. Lazy AF and broke for 7 years. Then one day he gets a job and starts getting serious. Would you date him? Would it be a problem?
I mean, yes; but no, right? That's kinda how your question feels to me.
>>
I asked a incredibly beautiful chinese girl I don't know very well out yesterday, and she actually said yes.

This girl is - as I see it - VERY "out of my league", and I don't know what to do.

I'm in over my head, not very experienced with dating at all. What do I talk about? How do I do this? Appreciate any help!
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>>20565872

I'd find it hard to believe, but then the next question is: What's you current behaviour?

Listen, I don't want you to write me about yourself. I want to point out that people know each other through their actions, and your post seems to assume years of experiences don't affect who you are today. Maybe they don't, but maybe they do. So don't assume you will keep everything about yourself a secret, either for good or for bad.
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>>20565876
>. What do I talk about? How do I do this? Appreciate any help!

Don't assume girls are robots with codes to crack. Talk about what you know, and you'll see if she likes you or not. Stop thinking in leagues, that's dumb.
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>>20565876
Ask her what she likes lol it really is that simple. Ask her more questions and go to places together. You don’t have to talk constantly to have a good time with somebody
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>>20565878
You’d find it hard to believe if my behavior didn’t indicate it? I’m not sure what you mean.

Of course my experiences affect who I am today. But I am a very self reflective person and have learned from them. Im also not interested in keeping it a secret I’m too honest a person for that.
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>>20565872
There is a man out there who will love you for you. If you've changed, your past shouldn't haunt you at all.
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>>20565874
Ignored
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>>20565878
>He's a wizard Haarry
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>>20565887
Just wondering, what was your idea when you started to fuck around ?
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>>20565771
>>20565747
Sounds like you both need to be more sure how gay someone is before making a move. That would be my advice, and what I'll try to do if I have to search for a new partner at some point (both myself and my gf knew each other were lesbians, makes it much easier)
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>>20565924
Not who you're responding to but how do gay people even fish for one another ?
Do you just go like "Wouldn't it be funny if you were gay mate haha ?" and then expect them to answer truthfully ?
t. curious straight male
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>>20565896
Well, over half my count is from over 12 years ago.

Most recently my issue was from the end of a 12 year relationship and feeling undesirable. Also I have learned that sexual intimacy does not equal real intimacy, but in the moment it can seem like a good substitute. Because of scarcity of many things in childhood I have historically had a habit of gluttony of many kinds, so I had a bad tendency to take what I could when I could because it might not be around later. I was a mess but I know now the error of my ways.
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>>20566214
Interesting, same patern as my ex-gf, I guess that is more or less universal. You did it to compensate the lack of attention from your ex as well or just for yourself ?
If it had to happen tomorrow (breakup over long lasting relationship), will you face the pain or repeat ?
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>>20566211
Not going to pretend it's easy, but if you're interested in someone and you're not sure of their sexuality you can do some digging to increase your odds of knowing. Or you could straight up ask like in your post
Some examples? Ask about their weekend and holiday plans - do they mention a partner? If no, check relationship status - single? Yes? Then bring up previous relationships - see if they talk about them as male or female. You can mention your own ex gf or dates with women here to see how they react (also gives them a change to pull back from being so familiar if she isn't interested), and if they're closed off about these things it might make them open up a bit more too. When they talk about a prospective partner, is it bf/husband or is it "partner", do they use gender non-specific pronouns? Conversations about whether you like and want kids can lead to similar uses of pronouns when talking about a prospective partner. The way a person looks and moves might also give you clues. It all builds a picture.
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>>20565924
>>20566211
Yeah it’s kind of hard to do because so many people have homophobia. That’s why I do dating websites where people straight up say what their orientation is. The girl from my initial post was also bi. The thing is, if I meet somebody in person it can pretty much be a situation where
>they’re obviously straight
>straight but flirt with girls for the lols
>bi but secretly bi
>gay but secretly gay
>open gay talks about being gay a lot

A lot of gay people don’t immediately say they’re gay to random people or people at work for example, because they don’t want to be treated weirdly due to homophobia. Sometimes you can find gay networks where if you have one gay friend they hang out with a bunch of other gay friends but even then there’s like a couple straight people in there lol
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>>20565874
>Well honesty is always the best policy. So tell him how you feel and what you desire, then handle his response, no matter what it may be. Simple.
I'm trying to not bring it up "the wrong way", which is the hard part. Being honest is easy.
>But my advice to you is to decide what you want in life. 8 years femanon? That's a long time to be blase casual. You clearly have a lot of emotional distance from... basically everything, including your marriage.
I'm not really sure to be honest. I have a career on track, a promotion coming, and I kinda like the current setup, but probably more out of comfort than anything else at this point. It's hard for me to really have a clear view of where I want to be in... say, 10 years. I know what my career goals are, but my personal goals are a bit washed out.
>Emotional distance. Why? what are you afraid of?
I don't think I'm afraid of anything, to be honest. At least, nothing I can think of. I don't have trouble hard-committing to something, and I don't really have any real vulnerabilities I'm afraid of showing. If there is anything, then I'm afraid of losing touch with my values, but I kinda feel like that is over and done with already. I had hoped this would be my one and only guy ever, but at the same time, I feel like I would either have to give up on several dreams and emotional needs, or my values. And I kinda have to pick at this point, because my husband only really fullfills my physical needs. He does so very well, granted, but still.
>Anyway, I think you should fine something in life you can feel truly emotionally close to. Adopt a dog if you have to. Just something that you can cherish and feel a inseverable sense of importance with. You're robbing yourself of your human experience if you don't.
I hate dogs, and I don't really want a substitute. I'd be more likely to just ask him to get me properly pregnant if it was all about having a kid.
>>
>>20566211

In my experience (straight male) gay people just mention they are gay, or let it be known, so you can tell when they are hitting on you. I've only been hit on once by a gay man, but I've seen it happen more than once.
>>
>>20566232
>>20566228
Here. I agree, I don't go shouting about it from the roofs - but there are things you can say to see how people react to get an idea if they have homophobic leanings. Dating with confirmed homos through dating apps/sites or events does make the most sense and is the easiest way to do it. But man the lesbian/bi/"""queer""" women on okc truly are a bunch of crazies, wew
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>>20565924
The issue is actually pinpointing it. As I said, I literally had a girl constantly call me beautiful and pretty, and outright grope me, and she called me disgusting and punched me when I tried to confess.

Girls are hard to read. Even for girls.

But yeah, my wife apparently had heard someone talk behind my back about how disgusting it was that I was gay, so she knew before she approached me. But it isn't exactly easy to tell.

Luckily I am married, so I don't have to deal with this anymore.

>>20566211
>Do you just go like "Wouldn't it be funny if you were gay mate haha ?" and then expect them to answer truthfully ?
Oddly enough, I've had a straight girl pull that for some shenanigans when I was a teenager. I figured out I was gay at the time, but she most certainly wasn't, she just thought it would be fun to try.

My process was literally
>1. Find a girl I like
>2. Stick around and see if I really like her, and check for signs and opinions about gays
>3. If everything seems good, confess
It wasn't a good process, and never worked for me.
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>>20566248
>girls are hard to read
I think it could be the conflicting feelings of internalized misogyny and homophobia in some cases. Like they show different behaviors because they themselves are nervous and unsure what to think or switch attitudes suddenly out of fear
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>>20566237
That can be dangerous, in my experience. Some people are very homophobic.

I don't know how much men can get away with, but in my experience, no straight girl, even those who joke about lesbian stuff, will want to be associated with an actual lesbian, and can even become violent if you are too interested.

Guys are super accepting of it, though, at least in my experience. I have 4 guy friends that knows it, and we are really close. Girls are a lot more difficult to be friends with, because they always assume the worst once they know you are gay.
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>>20566221
No, if I had to do it again I would not.
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>>20566260
>That can be dangerous, in my experience. Some people are very homophobic.

I'll give some context: I hang out at people's homes. Yes, we don't know everybody at those gatherings, but we also kinda "vouch" for the people we bring.

Gay people, polyamorous people, and that sort of "non-conventional" relationship dynamics (as-in, straight, monogamous, etc.) are not a secret. If you are there you are assumed to be able to deal with it.

>Guys are super accepting of it, though, at least in my experience. I have 4 guy friends that knows it, and we are really close. Girls are a lot more difficult to be friends with, because they always assume the worst once they know you are gay.

Well, yeah, the same happens with gay guys. Men keep a distance.
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>>20566248
>I literally had a girl constantly call me beautiful and pretty, and outright grope me
You obviously didn't deserve violence, but it sounds like you didn't really bring up the gay topic at all to gauge her reaction, nor was there mention of ex gfs or an interest in women or whatever. I wouldn't have taken that alone as a sign of interest without talking about the topic, and I probably would have reacted poorly if she tried to grope me if she didn't know I like women. When did she punch you anyway? Did you ask her out, try to make a move? Maybe you're just unlucky where you live - I don't feel like my city is that homophobic in the grand scheme of things. Glad you managed to find someone though and don't have to deal with that shit any more
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>>20566254
In addition I think a lot of girls are capable of having very tender and caring relationships with purely platonic friends which can be confusing for gay people (even straightguys lol) because they take being caring as a sign of interest
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>>20566268
That's good, thanks for your answers, best of luck
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>>20566260
>Girls are a lot more difficult to be friends with, because they always assume the worst once they know you are gay.
I genuinely thought this would be the case and didn't mention it for years. Since mentioning it, I haven't had a problem with any females about it. At first I was cautious with them but the friends I've made since being open about it don't seem to give a single shit
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>>20566260
I usually don’t ever bring up the topic of me being bi unless it’s necessary (where it hardly ever is)
If I have straight friends I tend to never tell them which is weird because in one way they just don’t know much about me, but in the other, they don’t really need to know because I’m not attracted to them lol I pretend to be straight a lot unless I’m specifically around gay people
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How do I get rid of a crush?
Five simple steps to get over her before it even starts please.
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>>20566321
1) Duct tape
2) bag
3) rope
4)????
5) Profit

Well that was 4 steps. But they don't call me Peanut "git 'er done" Butter for nothing!
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>>20566321
>Five simple steps to get over her before it even starts please

You asking for the impossible my friend. You are asking for a quick and easy solution for a deep rooted issue.

Crushes are born out of loneliness, lack of dating options, and generally stuff that gets in the way of healthy social interaction.

So, basically, start working on your social life and crushes will bbe a thing of the past. But, yeah, it's not gonna be simple.
>>
Is it normal to love your partner more and more as the days go by? Everyone talks about the honeymoon phase and how interest starts fading, but 2 years in I'm even more in love and attracted to my boyfriend than I was at the beggining.
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>>20566327
Absolutely halal, I was expecting this answer
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>>20566338
Try again in 3 more years.
>>
Girls
I've been trying to message a girl over social media for the last week, she would always reply but it would be always delayed like half a day. She would at least be receptive to the message but yeah this seems pretty bad for me.
Is she just hoping i stop messaging her or do some girls act this way for other reasons, she at least always responds for whatever that's worth.
>>
>>20566363

What do you want to get out of this? Is messaging once a day enough for you or not?
>>
A nice girl at work has been escalating how obvious her interest is in me, guess she thinks I'm retarded which is what it is. Anyway, I'd probably smash her head against a wall and rape her but other than that not interested. How long is it going to take until she fucks off?
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>>20566338
yes. mayne nor normal, but possible
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>>20566386
>>
Where do women usually hang out?
I haven't seen any in the past few years, except for train and the like
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>>20566368
Well I would like to have an actual conversation with her and ask her out on a date to get to know her more and see if they takes us anywhere.
>>
I'm starting to get over a man I love. We aren't dating, and he doesn't want me in his life anymore. I find it hard to get over him because every time I try, I feel like there is this whole in my life where thoughts of him used to be. I devoted so much of my time and energy to thinking about him and he hardly paid attention to me at all in the last month. Any advice?
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>>20566363
This one comes up so often. I feel like it should be added to thr OP
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>>20566273
>I wouldn't have taken that alone as a sign of interest without talking about the topic, and I probably would have reacted poorly if she tried to grope me if she didn't know I like women.
I honestly thought she knew... I had never shown interest in guys, been very adamant about not being interest at all in the male friends I had, and i had talked more about girls in general. I'm a pretty shy type of person, unfortunately, so I wasn't so good at bringing up the topic.

I also wasn't so experienced at telling this to people, so there is that as well.
>When did she punch you anyway?
I confessed, basically "I kinda like girls more than boys, and especially you". I had not expected that sort of reaction.
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>>20566507
Wew that's very extreme just for saying you liked her, goddamn. What a cunt. At least you're free of all that grey area bullshit now anon
>>
Would a girl like it if you put your knees on a girls ass in class like if your desk was in front of someone and he put your knees close to your ass and kinda pushed it
>>
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>>20565449
>By asking them out. It doesn't bother them. Actually they love it, even if they say no, because it gives them free attention and validation.

Yes, thanks for not answering my question whatsoever; very helpful.
But let stop being an indignant asshat a second and I'll attempt to justify why I cannot do that here. It'll at least help me emotionally cope with my frustrations.

Really it should be as simple as you say but it doesn't work here at all. I've done what you say in other places and it's as you say but here it doesn't work when in most stores here. Very frustrating that the basic & most obvious things don't work as they should here.

Nobody wants to be bothered at the grocery or store or walmart here.

Other types of stores here? Yes, it's exactly as you say. Unfortunately there aren't many to choose from let alone cafes and similar relaxed venues. We don't even have a bookstore or game store here. Mostly cramped big box stores here full of people wanting to GTFO. This place is just small scale surrounded with minuscule scale.

More populated places? Yes, even the grocery store. People aren't spoiled with the luxury of space and excess time there it seems.

Here? Nah. The grocery and retail park is quite out of the way for everyone and that extra time makes these small town people frustrated. We don't have high commute times so a setting like this makes them feel more busy than they actually are and the traffic in that area just adds to that sentiment because for say 40 minutes being there, they could of already traveled 120KM (going the speed limit) to an actual city with decent shopping. All that makes you not even want to talk to people you know because you're "busy".

It used to be different here before everything went to the retail park.
>>
If a girl sexually teases you regularly, is it likely she’s masturbated over you before?
>>
>>20566591
No you sperg. Also
>underage b&
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>>20566393
?
>>
>>20566420
remember how it hurts now and never love another person. It's not worth it. You'll mourn over him for years and no one can help you with that. and for what?
>>
Why do guys call girls sluts when they’re trying to be mean?

Why do girls call guys virgins when they’re trying to be mean?
>>
>>20564951
this idiot here

she just texted me after almost 10 hours of not texting
asked her if wednesday evening is still on
>of course *thumbsup emoji* :P

what should i even make of this
>>
>>20566386
Kys
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>>20566683
Then by the sound of your post, it's time you moved to a real city.

Real men adapt to a changing world, they don't expect the world to adapt to them.
>>
>>20566866
?
>>
My girl came down with the flu, and has been in bed all day. She canceled our date tomorrow and we agreed that if she's not ok by Valentine's day we can do our own Valentine's Day some other time. I was actually thinking, if she's not ok by then, of showing up at her house (she lives about 30-45 minutes away) with a bouquet of flowers and the surprise gift I made for her. Would you consider this romantic or weird, considering she's got the flu and told me she doesn't want me to catch it?
>>
>>20566847
Because they think that's the thing that will hurt the other the most
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>>20566927
dude, i'm dating my ex-gf and i'm unsure what to do at v-day
do it, she'll enjoy it
>>
>>20566927
DO IT :D
>>
>>20566698
Definitely possible, I wouldn't go as far as to say it's likely. In my experience talking about this with other women I don't think it's nearly as common for women to come thinking about men they know but are not sexual with anyway. Fantasizing/daydreaming, definitely, masturbation as far as I know is not nearly as common.

And not to be a downer because I do think this is uncommon but some people simply enjoy the thrill of knowing they turn someone else on or have something they want, without being that interested themselves.

If it's any consolation, she obviously thinks about you in a sexual context at times.
>>
>>20566698
I feel like a weirdo sometimes. I've never masturbated over one specific person. I'm a guy too. Maybe because I've never had any relationships or deep crushes?

Possibly because I have a hard time actually visualizing things in my mind.
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>>20566847
In both cases the implication is that the person is low quality and not attractive to the opposite sex. The societal norms dictate that men are studs that do well with women, and women are demure and wait for the right kind of guy(s). Going with this logic, a virgin and slut are equivalent in that they failed their gender expectations and are now bottom of the barrel.
>>
>>20566963
This is not uncommon for women and I think it's not uncommon anymore for men, since porn is so readily available that no young guy has ever had to rely on his imagination. If you are thirsty and there's nothing better the weirdest things can become erotic. Men have jerked off predominantly using fantasy for most of history.
>>
>>20565879
>>20565883
Thank you. Anything else I should keep in mind? =)
>>
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Girls - if you were going to hook up with a guy as a casual thing but he was a virgin would you be at all turned on by the prospect of 'showing him the ropes' and guiding him into the experience? I'm volcel but kinda wanna have some fun now so I'm wondering whether I should be honest about my history (lack thereof) or just pretend I know what I'm doing.
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>>20567010
I definitely would, I don't expect this to ever happen (because I barely sleep with anyone to begin with so it would be a big coincidence) but I daydream about it sometimes.

I don't think this is a superrare fantasy to have, but I do want to add I'm not submissive, also not expressly dominant but choosing between the two I definitely lean more that way. Basically when I think of good sex I don't think of the man being in charge to begin with, and I do think that makes a difference.
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>>20566386
Any non-incels going to give me a hand here? It's really for her own good.
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>>20567019
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful response :)
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>>20567023
Next time she tries to talk to her, don't barely look at her, go "u-huh" and "okay" in your most flat, monotone voice, and then half-way through a sentence look her dead in the eye and go "[girl], sorry if this is going to sound blunt, but I am really looking to keep my work and private life separate". Don't sound hostile, just convinced. If she says something like "oh but then we should meet outside of work" you word for word repeat that you want to keep work and private separate, then pointedly conclude with her being welcome to come to you with whatever business related question, and return to your work until she leaves.

Don't be worried about her confronting you with socializing with coworkers etc and not with her. It takes a lot of guts to confront someone with the evidence that they just don't like you in particular, especially when you crush on them.

If you feel like drama's brewing be pro-active, go to your boss and tell him you tried to keep a firm boundary before she got the wrong impression and that's all there is to it. They are not usually crazy about work floor relationships.
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>>20566927
I didn't say it before. But when I read your post, my first hunch was she's cheating on you and using the flu as an excuse, and will spend valentines day with another man.

Sorry if that shoots an arrow in your heart. My hunches are sometimes unexplainable and wrong. But either way, you have nothing to lose by proceeding. I'm saying this will all the best of intentions, too. I gave myself a few minutes to mull over this post.
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>>20566546
I can certainly emphasise with guys when they say girls are confusing to deal with.
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>>20564497
>>20564625
If its not the same department its probably fine, just don't ask her out in the open. Try to look for a reasonable opportunity like there's no one really around or you can speak with relative privacy in some way.
Of course, whether or not this is good advice or not can depend on your particular situation. Most of the advice against dating coworkers is geared to the chance they are retarded or do something retarded and people "take sides in the break up" or something stupid like that.

Also, to >>20564625 stop giving blanket advice with no explanation.
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>>20567056
*people taking

And if they do that, far as I'm concerned, they're cunts.
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>>20567030
You're welcome anon!

Also wanted to add that you can steer things in the right direction. There's a huge difference between a virgin guy being desperate to please and constantly asking if he's doing okay and obviously feeling like he has to perform, and a guy who is excited to have his first sexual experience and looks at you like his fantasy come to life. Being confident about doing your part can make it a lot easier for the other person to get in character and channel that side of themselves. Think of dominating a girl who's acting like you're the biggest baddest man in town vs trying to dominate a girl who keeps rolling her eyes, snorting when you give a command and so on. It works the other way around as well.

You can also likely get somewhat of a feel for her preferences beforehand. Most people like to act a little bit like their preferred role when flirting. E.g. girls acting more clueless, scared, innocent or flustered than they actually are. If a girl is more feisty, prefers teasing you over being teased, likes to get you out of your comfort zone (e.g. by getting you to dance when you're obviously shy), acts bossy or very nurturing around you, the chance is higher that she's game. If you get that far, drop a line that you can easily play off as a joke (like "I feel like you're going to ruin my innocence here") and gauge to your best abilities if this sparks some sexual interest.

Good luck!
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>>20567010
I remember reading a thread on /b/ a few years back of a girl in high school, who was nerdy and all her friends were nerdy. Like otaku/anime/video games. Of course they were all virgins and bad at sex. She went around and slept with all of them, eventually, and so was doing a sort-of AMA. She has this fetish for virgins and loved taking all of her friend's dicks. There was zero chance of getting STD's because they were all virgins and she could just take them, pleasure them, hop on these boys and feel them inside her. Watch them moan and cringe as they come inside her. Sucking them off and making them all feel really good and love her. She was like, loved.

To me that's like so hot. If I was a girl, I would totally do that. Massive virgin fetish. And I'd do it on birth control, too, so I could really feel them and absorb the essence of all these men and satisfy them 100%. Fuck I want to be a girl right now.
Or at least fuck one.

thanks now I'm horny.
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So I'm in a kinda weird situation. I want to ask this girl out, but she's busy nearly all the time (we're friends so I'm somewhat aware of her schedule). I don't really want to just wait until she's not busy, but I also don't want to make plans for a date multiple weeks in advance. What do?
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>>20567048
>didn't say it before. But when I read your post, my first hunch was she's cheating on you and using the flu as an excuse
You should have stayed quiet.

>>20566847
The irony is that it rarely works. Women are usually more targeted towards other women, so you might hear some women call a specific girl a virgin, while they will call other slut.

In today's world, the genders aren't clearly defined anymore. A lot of girls think the definition of a slut (IE a sexually "succesful" and active girl) is a good thing, regardless of the negative connotations, and virgin is still very painful to a lot of girls. Calling a 25+ girl virgin, most likely hurts just as much for her, as it would for a guy, because it makes her feel just as undesirable as the virgin guy is. Personally, "slut" would just make me smile, because I'm a sad and pathetic virgin at the age of 27, so it's just so blatantly wrong it wouldn't hurt me at all. But call me a virgin to my face, and I'll probably lose sleep that night. Meanwhile, I have a friend who always smiles and fires back a witty response when someone calls her slut, because... well, she is. She can't remember how many different guys she slept with, and she is proud of it. It's a compliment to her.

This is speaking from a girls standpoint, obviously, so I don't know how a guy would feel to these. But you definitely cannot use "slut" as a catch all insult to women. Maybe you could at the inception of the term, but not anymore.
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>>20567010
I don't think I would care much. The main draw of virginity is the safety in terms of STDs and such, so it's definitely preferred, but it's not that big of a deal to me.
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>>20567074
>A lot of girls think the definition of a slut (IE a sexually "succesful" and active girl) is a good thing
I agree that many girls think this in theory, but the word slut has more connotations than that, it implies trashiness, a lack of dignity/class/self-respect, not just an adventurous sex life but one where quantity prevails over quality. I have had many friends who had a higher partner count and did things that would be regarded as slutty, all on good terms with their sex life, but none of them wouldn't be at least a little stung by the word slut. Not because it implies they slept with many men but because it implies something about the quality of their life choices, about their wholesomeness.
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>>20567073
can you go to any of her things with her? Idk, if she's going to a museum you could go with her
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>>20567074
>This is speaking from a girls standpoint, obviously, so I don't know how a guy would feel to these
Going by the reaction of men being called sluts here, I would say it triggers them super hard to be called sluts, especially by girls.

It might make them angry, rather than sad, but it definitely seems to have an effect.

>>20567010
I like virgin's. They are much more fun than ""Chads"".
>>20567067
As much as I hate to do this, I agree with this faggot. Just like him, I would want to take the virginity of a circle of friends if I had this type of chance. It's fun, and exciting, and just feels much better than what a Chad could ever accomplish.

There is a thrill to teaching someone to become a master, especially at something like sex, because as a girl, you know that the student will at one point overtake you, and then you are at their mercy. That growth is incredibly hot, and super satisfying.
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>>20567048
>>20567074

She definitely has the flu, she's been sending me pics and vids all day and she looks very sick. Still beautiful to me, but sick
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>>20567081
As I said, I'm a virgin, so I don't know exactly how it feels, but whenever anyone asks my friend how she feels about being called it, or if we defend her when someone calls her that, she always chuckles, and tells us not to worry about it. She embraces it a lot.

Maybe it's just a facade, but I doubt it. She can get embarrased over how easy her thoughts are to read normally, but this particular topic doesn't seem to faze her at all.
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>>20567088
She just has a lot of shit for her classes and clubs she's in. So I don't saying "hey can I go to your officer meeting with you" would be a great idea. And we already work on homework and study together a lot.
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>>20567100
Yeah, don't take anything Peanut Butter says at face value. He is a notorious troll here, and his advice is almost always garbage.
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>>20567073

Does she not have any free time? That sounds like bulshit.

Why are you so afraid to ask her out? Be real.
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>>20567121
Not even worth posting again properly.
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>>20567111
I don't doubt that there's people to be found who don't care, I just don't think it's a common thing.
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>>20567100
ok good

>>20567117
No I actually said it with the best of heart. Whether I was right or wrong, it pained me either way to post that. But I felt it was better said than unsaid.
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>>20564614
That does seem to be the size of it. Thanks for the reply.
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>>20567114
why can't you wait for her schedule to become normal? Or is she always this busy? Surely you can wait a few weeks anon.
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>>20567032
Thanks, harsh, but fair.
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>girls in this thread claim to hate Chads
>fuck them anyway

Explain.
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>>20567130
Could be. I only have empirical evidence. I just know from my social circle, no one is all that bothered by it, either because it is people who are married to their one lifetime partner, a slut who outright doesn't care, or myself, who is a virgin. Slut is a pretty pointless slur to throw at us, in general.

Of course, at work, it does work, but there people know exactly what buttons to press. If they want to hurt someone, they already have prepared an arsenal of words that they know will sting.
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>>20567163

I think you don't understand the simple fact that the women that fuck "chads" and the ones that hate "chads" are not the same women.

They are not a hive mind, friend.
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>>20567163
It's almost like half of all human beings can't be out into one neat little box. Like we actually have different tastes and preferences, and aren't the exact same person.

I know it may be weird to an autistic brainlet, but the truth is, we are actually all different.
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>>20567173
This.
>Love chads
Fucks chads
>Hates chads
Cant get fucked by chads cuz ugly, sad!
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When a girl calls you babe when there is no romantic connection, what does it mean? Does it mean she likes you as a person?
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>>20567163
>thinking 4chan girls like the ubermensch ripped faggot with a lot of charisma, and 0 personality
Most of the girls here, even those who sound like actual sluts, are very unlikely to prefer the Chad type of guy, methinks. If we had such normie tastes, we likely wouldn't be here.
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>>20567126
Well when the way she acts and the things she says make it seem like she's drowning and doesn't have enough time for everything... I get the vibe that she might not have the time to go out on a date. I could be wrong, but I'm just trying to think as rationally as I can.

>>20567154
I think right now is especially hectic, so maybe in a few weeks she would have more time. My issues with waiting are: 1) the anxiety of realizing I like her is killing me 2) I don't want her to go on a date with someone else before I ask her out.
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>>20567197
>I'm just trying to think as rationally as I can.

No, you are just making excues. Why are you doing that?
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Women acquantance asked me if I had x lecture next, I told her no and she said “aw, we’re not in the same one”. She has a reputation to be fake, but no reason to hate me. Was she being fake here?
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>>20567187
I love using nicknames for friends, it rarely means anything other than "you are important to me in some fashion"

Babe is a low effort one, personally I only use it like I would use "sweetie", to demean someone. But it is such a classic that it is probably more likely to just be positive.

Unless she calls you something obviously suggestive, it's very unlikely to be more. I had a crush once whom I called Stalion, for example.
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>>20567163
Different reasons, yeah in part they are just two different groups, in part the girls who post here are less "normie" than average. But it's also a matter of definition. I think when hearing Chad many girls here think of the handsome, cocky, extroverted fuckboy who throws lines at girls. Whereas for some anons Chad = a guy more social, or more cute, than he is. Even if in the grand scheme of things that guy's pretty average.

Most women like men with confidence. Most women like men who can carry a conversation and make them laugh. Most women like men who are slim and put together. That doesn't mean the guys who meet those criteria are strikingly attractive, or very popular, or superexperienced with women. Nor does it mean that they can't like a guy who doesn't meet (all of) these criteria.
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girls

would you fuck an ex without protection after some time and date him again?

or is fucking the ex without a condom, after some weeks with, a sign of you maybe wanting to try things ?
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>>20567197
So as someone who has periods of 75 hour work weeks, even if I can fit in time for a date, I wouldn't want to. Not because I don't want to go on a date, but because I would never be able to engage you properly on the date, and I would hate to end up wasting your time with me, during a period where I am sleep deprived, stressed out, and likely in a bad mood. If I want to date someone, they deserve better than what I can give them during those periods, so I avoid dating entirely in those periods
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I texted a guy I've been dating that relationship sometimes get me all broken up since I'm so sensitive. He responded "hmmm" and I think he ghosted me after that. Thoughts?
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>>20567213
Personally, when I hear Chad, I think of a guy who has slept with a lot of different girls. It basically means slut to me.

It doesn't really matter how charismatic he is, or how attractive he is. I don't plan on catching STDs to sleep with someone I know will never stick around, so there is no point in even bothering.
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>>20567197
>My issues with waiting are: 1) the anxiety of realizing I like her is killing me 2) I don't want her to go on a date with someone else before I ask her out.
You said earlier that you don't want to ask her out now and wait a few weeks, why not? That seems like the best thing to do. Also, she might say "oh, I can squeeze you in for an hour tomorrow" or something like that. Also, why worry she'll meet someone in the next week or two if she has so much work she wouldn't be able to get a cup of coffee?
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>>20567224
If you're dating and not just fucking for a few weeks I don't understand. How long are you "dating"?
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>>20567202
I know she's already super stressed right now and I don't want to add to that unnecessarily. No excuses here. I know the pain of constantly making excuses to not ask someone out and I want to avoid that this time around.

>>20567221
That's exactly what I'm worried about. So you think waiting until her schedule's settled down a bit is the best idea?

>>20567231
I guess I thought it would make things awkward? And who knows - a lot can happen in a few weeks.
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>>20567257
>I know the pain of constantly making excuses to not ask someone out and I want to avoid that this time around.

Then stop making excuses and ask her out. You assume she doesn't have the time, you don't know if she does.
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>>20567230
+1

And I probably qualify as a slut, because I don't mind sleeping with someone who catches my eye. But "Chad" is never that person, because I know where he has been.

And that's sorta the issue with the idea. You guys think Sluts are bad, but what you forget, is that these "Chads" are fucking those sluts. If we sleep with the Chad, then we catch whatever the sluts had as well. He defiled himself, thinking it is somehow a symbol of status, not realizing that any girl with a shred of intelligence would never touch him without safety gloves after that.

It does mean something to be successful, I'll give you guys that. A guy who has gone through his whole life in a relationship, either 1 long one, or multiple shorter ones, clearly has something going for him, depending on why he is now single obviously. But there is a stark difference between
>seems like a solid and stable partner
And
>I wonder how many STDs he got from fucking those 20 different sluts.

The first is great, the second is a dealbreaker.
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>>20567257
>That's exactly what I'm worried about. So you think waiting until her schedule's settled down a bit is the best idea?
Asking never hurts. If she feels she has the energy to go through with it, it can be great to relive some stress.

I would never mind being asked out, no matter how fucked my work schedule looks.
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>>20567238
Three months, but not official. He said he ghosted one person before because she was crazy and I texted him that and other crazy things before, like I have trust issues. And he only responded "hmm" last time so I think this is finally the point where he dropped me
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>be 24
>been with girl, 22, about a month
>last friday we almost had our first time
>her parents got home literally the second she finishes saying "Anon I want you inside me"
>later went out to dinner with her and her folks
>even after all this she says she's not ready for an official relationship yet, and just wants to take it slow, no pressure

Meeting the parents isn't taking it slow right? Explain this logic please
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>>20567261
I guess you're right. Thanks.

>>20567274
I see. I guess I was thinking under the assumption it would add stress not relieve it. Thanks.
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Do you prefer a grower or a shower?
I've only been with one girl and she said she likes feeling it throb and grow but I'm curious as to what the general consensus is.
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>>20567296
Sounds like she just tryna fuck
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>>20567312
I give zero fucks about the flaccid size of a man, never understood why this is a big deal in any way. And sure I love feeling it grow but every dick grows when getting hard. It just looks more spectacular when he's a "grower" which I guess is nice but nowhere near my list of priorities/wishes in a partner, not even when you restrict it to penis-related stuff.
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>>20567213
>Whereas for some anons Chad = a guy more social, or more cute, than he is. Even if in the grand scheme of things that guy's pretty average.
Nobody thinks that.
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>>20567257
>I guess I thought it would make things awkward? And who knows - a lot can happen in a few weeks.
If a lot can happen in a few weeks between some guy and her, why wouldn't she be able to go out with you in those few weeks? I don't think people get in relationships that easy, especially if she has a lot of work. I think there is no way she'll start dating someone in those few weeks
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>>20567339
It's super common here to label any guy preferred by a girl over you "Chad". Do you really think all those numerous reference strictly refer to top 10% men and every guy here who has a crush on a girl loses her to such a specimen?
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>>20567326
Not very likely, considering it was her parents who invited me to dinner because she, apparently, talks about me all the time. She's had 2 boyfriends before me and never introduced any of them to her parents. These are good signs right?
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>>20567285
I know this is going to sound stupid, but you shouldn't care. If he ghosted you, he's not right for you. Just say what you feel and if that makes him run away then he's not your guy. I know it's probably hard and you can't choose to care or not care, but you can't and shouldn't influence other peoples decisions. Are you crazy or is he a dick doesn't really matter, you're you, he's him.
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>>20567224
-"I've had a bunch of relationships in the past"
-"I suck at relationships"
-"I have anger problems"
-"I'm needy"
-"I'm a mess"
-"I can't solve my own problems"
-"I can't link cause-and-effect"
-"I need you to save me"
-"TOLERATE ME, PEON!!"
-~negative energy~

...all in one little sentence. Well done femanon! If you ever want to break up with a guy in a sneaky way, try that line again.
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>>20567340
You're probably right. I think I was letting my anxiety get the best of me.
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>>20567207
She uses it for things like “Hi babe”, “thanks babe”, stuff like that. Is that meant to be demeaning?
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>>20567285
>three months
Well ok he shouldn't do that. I was under the impression you went on a few dates.

"ghosting" is a massive red flag. It's blatantly anti-social. Think twice before boarding that boat again.
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>>20567206
Bump
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>>20567380
No one can tell you, we'd need to be able to read her mind.
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>>20567380
This thread has been unbumpable for 36 posts now...
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Touched a girls tit before she was comfortable with it. She cuddled up in my arms and I completely misread the situation. She said she'd give me another chance. It's been going really really well till this point for a few months now. I feel the damage I've done is irreparable and she won't ever see me the same again.
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>>20567427
>few monts
>touching a tit is a mistake
Is she a nun?
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>>20567444
More like a month and a half.
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Girls
Have you ever put off replying to a guy (like the next day) you're into even though you weren't 100% busy?
If so, what was the reason?
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>>20567452
he messaged using an obviously fake account
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>>20567446
>>20567427

time doesnt matter, how many times have you gotten together? If its 3-4+ then yea maybe shes not that into you. (some people might even say 2-3 dates)
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For women

At a wedding me and this girl kept exchanging looks and I smiled at her and she smiled back at me (even caught her looking at me when i was looking elsewhere). She was there with someone who I assume was just for appearances (shes friends with the bride, guy friends with groom).But I could tell she wasnt emotionally invested in this guy.

Anyway, is it creepy if I add her on social media? I don't wanna come off as beta. I can wait and take a chance hoping I bump into her in the future again.
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>>20567452
Yes
1. Don't like texting much
and/or
2. Really hard to pick the right thing to say to someone I'm really into, so I'll postpone it and deliberate about it.
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>>20565568
I never got the chance to put my penis into a vagina, therefore I never actually had conventional sexual intercourse.
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>last year
>carnival
>wear mask
>get bumped into
>mysterious masked stranger
>hit it off
>spend the rest of the day together
>talk for hours and hours
>learn a lot about each other
>soulmates
>hold hands
>never reveal faces
>or hug, or kiss
>time to part ways
>get his number
>lose it on the way home

Why was fate so ruthless? I've tried looking for him.. Like a needle in a haystack, I gave up but was it the right thing to do? It's almost that time of the year again and it makes me sad to think I'll never see him again
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Not sure in right place. Been talking to a person and we've had deep conversations, I like her and she asked me once and I told her being around her feels right, I feel comfortable and feel I can be myself around her, never a full moment and just right. Today after a deep conversation, were both single parents I felt so complete because I was able to share a problem about my son with someone and get a maternal feed back, she got it right on the head and I felled so full of emotions I cried.... I cried because I felt I have someone to open up with and digging into my deepest areas... By the end of the call... I said "la quiero" which is an equivalent to an "I love you" but she said "no" "no" "no" and I told her it just felt right to say it. We hung up then she texted me the following
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>>20568326
Second part of my text (blue) I tell her "but I also don't want to scare you away, but I think you are the person I've been looking wait for" and she replies back with her text.... I'm not sure how to interpret it. I feel like the feelings are getting there for her.... But at the same time I feel I'm reading it wrong. Any advice please?
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New thread:
>>20568412
>>20568412
>>20568412
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>>20566447
late respond but what is the general answer for it? Anyone fill me in please



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