How to fix low self esteem?
Stop worrying about everything so much
>>20322452I have to infer what you actually mean. uh, first off, don’t be an inverted narcissist. pay attention to something other than petty things about yourself. on another note, if you’re feeling very guilty or useless, that might be a sign of a depressed state.
>>20322462I’m still working on this. Though I don’t know how to start>>20322467I do. I’m still too anxious to participate in convos. Most of the time, I feel as if my response would be unnecessary. Also I still think I’m lower than everyone.
>>20322506confirmed you are focusing on yourself too much. it’s a bit self-centered.as for the feeling at a lower rank. than those you try to approach, maybe you are at a lower rank. well, at least yoy realize it and haven’t become a robot incel poltard.our brains make confidence when we’re socially gaining and timidness when we’re losing. this is what creates upwards and downwards spirals in social position.look at things people in your society like in people, and try to do that until it catches on with a potential employer, mate, or friend.for me, muscling through the crippling depression and being quiet about bleak worldview shit nobody wanted to hear helped. sometimes I reframed my bad thoughts in the form of more palatable jokes, though humor is kind of up the social spiral, not at rock bottom.
>>20322506>>20322532once you’re not totally and involuntarily isolated from others, good and important shit like creativity and a genuine desire to live should start to come back. if they don’t maybe see some kind of mentor, counselor, or minister if you’re into that.
Is this picture staged? This is really sad and giving me traumatic flashbacks.
>>20322572you should have stayed home and played halo
>>20322532Yeah I guess at least now I don’t hate normies anymore. I see them as better than me and I’m happy that my brothers aren’t like me. Like, they have gf, they go to clubs, they travel abroad with their friends etc. So I guess that’s a good start.> look at things people in your society like in people, and try to do that until it catches on with a potential employer, mate, or friend.I don’t really understand this. So I should try doing what people do? Even if I don’t personally like it? Ok maybe there ARE things that I’m interested in doing, but I keep worrying about how I can’t be entertaining enough and how they’d see me as a burden and like “the vibe would be better and much more relaxing if he’s not around”. And I do feel like that all the time. When I’m with coworkers smoking, we’re all mostly quiet and I think this is because of me. Because when I wasn’t around, they were more lively. This is why I always stand back and just smoke and eat alone, because I don’t want to be the root problem of people’s social vibe. I don’t want people to not like me because of that. I am the reason why my closest coworker is not mixing well with the other bois. Because he might feel bad if he left me or if he had to bring me to discomfort by hanging out with the bois. I know he’s extroverted and he’d have a great time with them. I wish I can separate ways with my closest coworker without making him feel bad or offended, and just be alone without being someone’s problem or dragging someone down to my level.I’m not desperate to have friends. On weekends I mostly just want to be on my own and enjoy my leisure time with myself. But I’m not happy nor fulfilled.
>>20322572I think it's just well timed. Was probably right before or right after the kid was dancing. Like look at the posture of the people around him. They don't look disgusted or embarrassed for him, but they are all watching him.
>>20322592you think outgrowing being an angstlord of solutiude is a bad, overly conformist thing to do?also, you are sort of veering off and looking into the mirror on the wall again. “mirror mirror on the wall, who is the ugliest and least desired of them all?”
>>20322616No, I stopped being pseudocritical or political, I stopped hating conformists and I don’t see normies as bad people. I just wish I could be more comfortable with myself when I’m around them. Also, most of the time I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to talk about. I keep finding boring stuffs to talk about and that’s it. It’s not like I naturally want to talk about something. I often talk in my head, it has become a habit.Yes I know I was veering off. Idk what else to say, I just want to let you know a lot of things about me so you don’t misunderstand.
>>20322646I think you should abolish the idea of normies and being an outsider. Yes, when everyone says hive mind shit it can feel like you’re the last conscious person on Earth, but the truth is that ‘normies’ can be very quirky and robots can be very predictable.I think the outsider narrative, and there are so many different versions of it, is a socially crippling thing. It might not be possible to just suck the narrative out of your head, but you can form relationships with particular people who make you feel included.
>>20322662No, let me tell you once again, I don’t hate them and I think they’re better than me, and it’d be a lot better if I was one. And yes robots can be predictable and in fact robots are bad. Most “robotic” people have rotten personalities that turn me off.Idk how I think about the outsider thing, I think I’m not too different from other people, it’s just that I’m still stuck in 17 year old.
Was in the same boat less than a month ago, I kind of thought of my voice being unnecessary in conversations and shit. But I realized that if you're hanging out with people or what have you, people obviously want to hear what you have to say otherwise you'll be the "weird quiet guy" in the group. It took me an entire four years to realize this.
Practice and acting
>>20322452From personal experience, one of the most important things is just not giving a fuck for literally everything, like when you was a kid and would just live your life without worrying about others doing whatever.This is to get a high self-esteem from yourself.But if you want a high self-esteem that comes from other people's validation which is what most people seek then you will have to do a lot of things, group of friends, looks, being smart, being respectable, etc, etc, etc (being overall a high value person), and also that thing about not caring much about what people think about you (but this time it just counts for when you get hate).
>>20324288How do you stop giving a fuck though? I can't get the nagging voice out of my head
>>20324575>How do you stop giving a fuck though?Therapy. Behavioral and thinking patterns can be changed but it requires practice and an objective observer to guide your progress.
Mostly don't think about it. Over time you learn that beating yourself over your head with your shortcomings is extremely unproductive. Instead, doing things that you enjoy that also set you towards becoming a better person make a lot more sense to invest in.It's all too easy to get caught in the loop of, "Oh well I'll never be the best at anything...". No shit, only one person can ever really be the best at anything. Doesn't mean everybody else should just die, it just means that it'd be better for the gene pool.The point is, you aren't going to want to do things that make you sad, but you are going to want to do the things that make you happy a lot more frequently, thus allowing you to improve yourself more efficiently.
>>20324575Like I said, it's like when you was a kid, you would do retarded shit without even thinking about what people would say, when that nagging voice kicks in you have to tell it to literally fuck off and focus on what you are currently doing than thinking about the million possible bad outcomes that are actually not that bad or sometimes wouldn't even happen.I know it's not easy like this, but I don't want to make it overly complicated though, you can take it gradually, like stop giving a fuck more and more over time.You'll have to practice it man, it won't be a text that will rewrite how you subconsious deals with situations right now, you will have to work on it like when you are trying to lose weight, learn a new hobby etc.I know it's easier said than done but when you make it a habit you will start reaching the results you want.It should feels like if you are in control of yourself and your life and you are happy with it, it can have some problems? yes of course, everyone has those, but you have the power to improve it, and other's people opinion shouldn't really matter since they probably have problems in their lifes like everyone else or maybe they are even worse than you, or even better, some of them actually don't even care because they are busy with their own life like you should be right now.
>>20322452Realize that nobody cares about you. Low self esteem is just narcissism.
>>20324575Isn’t it obvious? As kid we used to be so obsessed about something, getting good at something etc etc. maybe adopt a hobby? Be focused on getting good at something.
>>20326219Why? I don’t enjoy exercising.
>>20326545Doing self improvement will make you more confident: gym, school, socialization(with your friends, not the meme kind of socialization like going to a bar with strangers).
OP here. I just pushed myself to smoke at the area where “the boys” always smoke. Met one of them, got awkward at first but then it was smooth. For the first time I’m optimistic that I will finally make my dream come true, where I’d have a cool social life like a fresh 18 year old. I’ll just let this keep happening until they ask me to go to a hipster music events or something like that, doing all the degenerate stuffs that I never tried. I can’t believe all those things happen to me at 25 years old.