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Hi /adv/ haven't been here in awhile. I'll try to keep this short
>be me
>be single
>have qt3.14 single friend
>qt3.14 and I start hanging out and talking more
>pretty sure qt3.14 wants to be more than friends

This wouldn't be a problem except she's also really ingrained in my friend circle that I hang out with on the weekends, and one of the other guys also expressed interest in her and she turned him down (they were previous coworkers and are still good). Dating would make things awkward and if we broke up it would make things REALLY awkward. Pretty sure half would be on my side and half on hers.

I don't want to mess up a good friend circle but I also don't want to miss out on something that might be really special. Pls help.
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
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>>21157454
>Dating would make things awkward
not really, a couple in my friend circle got together recently and while it changes things, its definitely not awkward
>and if we broke up
dont think negative

you remind me of myself, looking for reasons to not do something that i fear. you have doubts, its okay but you still should go for things you want to happen.

listen to >>21157489

good day and good luck
>>
>>21157454
go for it, you'll definitely regret it if you don't. literally ZERO reason for you to fall on your sword on behalf of your friend getting shot down, that is nonsense. the whole friend circle thing is also nonsense, they can just deal with it for fuck's sake.
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>>21157454
Idk man. I've had a friend in a similar situation. Ultimately my friends relationship with eeach other broke apart our circle because dude has a jealously problem, even with his own friends.
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>>21157454
This sounds exactly like my situation. I'm sorry friend, its hard to say what the right answer is. If you've been friends for a long time then maybe it can be amicable if something goes wrong. You'll never know until you try.
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>>21157454
>Dating would make things awkward and if we broke up it would make things REALLY awkward. Pretty sure half would be on my side and half on hers.
>
>I don't want to mess up a good friend circle
Then don't do it.

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Fast backwards to last Sunday
>Normally go to 9am mass
>Have to work all day
>Go to church at 5 o clock mass
>Gal sits next to me
>Talk a little bit here and there
>She goes to 9am too, usually sits on other side of church
>Talk a little bit
>Say bye and all that
Fast Forwards to today
>Go to 9am
>Gal asks to sit next to me again
>We start talking after church is over for a couple minutes
>Had to leave to volunteer at the SPCA
>Kinda left abruptly - missed an opportunity to get to know her better

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>21157436
Can't help you, I don't go to mass executions, even if it's just pretend
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>>21157436
Next time go someplace for coffee after church
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>>21157436
>Is it inappropriate to ask a girl from church out to a date?
>fell for the trad church girl meme
LOL
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>>21157436
she sat next to you, twice. She's interested, the dirty little slut.
It's not inappropriate, just be sure that she's interested as well.
it's probably going to a great relationship
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>>21157436
it's not the 17th century anymore, grow the fuck up cringy american

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Should I tell my girlfriend I'm not poor? I've been dating my girlfriend for 8 months and she's a really sweet and nice girl. I have not told her what I really do for a living really, I told her I just work in some crappy office job, while technically not untrue, it implies a pretty low level salary. I live like a compete destitute poorfag. I live in a tiny one bedroom apartment in a shit neighborhood, I'm about as frugal as they come, I drive an old piece of garbage car, all my clothes is either gotten on discount for dirt cheap or used, I use every avenue possible to save money, I live like I'm on welfare essentially. But I'm happy living this way, I'm pretty low maintenance and I don't need much out of life.

I didn't tell my girlfriend how much money I make because I've dealt with several girls who obviously had ulterior motives, so this is kind of a way to see if a girl really likes me. Plus my girlfriend is a fair bit younger than me and you gotta be careful with these young ladies these days. I think its safe to say that my girlfriend really likes me. She's pretty understand of my lifestyle and goes out of her to help me find ways to save money. She doesn't make a big deal out of my situation, she's a sweetheart. It's pretty endearing.

In reality, I make close to $200k a year. Our relationship has progressed to the point where she wants to move in with me. My apartment barely fits me, let alone both of us, and I don't want her to be in discomfort for no reason. This shitty apartment is good enough for me because all I need is four walls, a stove and a bathroom, but she's a lady. I mean its saving money but I can easily make like a step up in my housing with negligible impact on me.

Should I tell her my income or find some excuse as to why I can afford to just up and move so easily?
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>>21157133
[spoiler]who hurt you anon?[/spoiler]
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>>21157555
>>21157538
>>21157544
>>21157628
This samefagging is atrocious
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>>21156583
Look, you don't need to make a big reveal about this. Just say "my place is a bit small for 2 people, let's go look at apartments" and when you go look at apartments go to ones you can afford. Unless you outright lied to get and said you were poor, it's not too surprising that someone might have been happy living well below their means. If she asks why, be honest. Tell her that when living on your own you didn't feel you needed a large space, but with two people living together a larger place seems necessary.

Now, if you lied and said outright you were poor that's another story. Then the question should be "why did I lie to my girlfriend for so long?"
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After reading this thread I don't understand the issue here. He didn't tell her something himself, what's the big deal? Are you obligated to tell your partner everything about you? No secrets at all? Can I ask every woman I see to tell me her sexual history in explicit detail? And she has to comply or she's being deceptive? We're going to be together so I should know what I'm getting myself into, right? I mean, a guy who's looking for a serious relationship should have the right to know if his girlfriend is the town bicycle, right? This just seems petty to me.

Of all things to be arguing about, his income? I still don't know my ex-girlfriend's income. I still don't know my parents income. I don't even know what I made last year and my taxes weren't even that long ago, I forgot that shit the next day. Sure I have a general idea but this is just weird to me. I've never had the "income" conversation with anyone. Most people just ask what you do and derive from there. What did OP say when she has asked what he did?

>>21156583
>I told her I just work in some crappy office job, while technically not untrue, it implies a pretty low level salary
Well, that's all she needs to know then and that's all I need to know. If he didn't lie and he just worded it in a way that's ambiguous then that's perfectly acceptable. I'm assuming this was at the start of their relationship and she didn't bother prying further. I know people are going to bring up a lie by omission or whatever, but who the fuck just tells you their income? Maybe when you're living together and you plan to get married in the future. But who just says their income straight up? I've never had a girl just ask me that before. I would be sketched out if a couple months in my girlfriend just asks me my financial details.

I think OP should have every right to protect himself, but I also think at a certain level of the relationship she does have the right to know. 8 months in? I don't know chief.
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>>21156583
>Should I tell my girlfriend I'm not poor?
no, matter of fact pretend you are so you know the love is real

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. I’ve always been 100 percent loyal, I cook for him, clean for him, sleep with him, etc so I don’t know why his friends say mean things to me when he’s around. When my bf leaves the room or something they’ll be much nicer but they’ll basically bully me when he’s around and he doesn’t even tell them to lay off.
They treat me like I’m literally retarded even when I’m right about things. I don’t pick fights. I don’t hold my bf back. I don’t know why they are so rude.
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>>21157008
What kind of things do they say?
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>>21157580
How did you get that from this post lmao?
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>>21157662
You seem to be over justifying your behavior like we will assume you're some flamboyant cunt or something. Over explication tends to mean someone feels THE NEED to do it because their actions don't do it.
>I don't give them a reason to treat me like this
That would have been enough. But, no. You go on and on about how supportive and loving and perfect you are, and how amazing you are, and how you seem to have not faults at all.
Also, people don't have to like you.
Maybe they think you're too clingy? Who the fuck knows. But they have known you for 6 years, so I'm assuming they have a valid reason.
>>
>>21157719
Are you replying to the right person?
>>
>>21157008
>he doesn’t even tell them to lay off
There you go.
You might be a cunt too just avoid any interaction I would even come in the room while they're present until they adjust their attitude.

How do i stop being beta to my gf?Weve been together for a long time and shes always trying to make me say sorry abt stuff and making me say i love you and if i ignore her she gets mad or cries. And shes always pulling my hair and slapping my butt.
7 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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Gf is like this too. I honestly believe that the fact she didn’t have a good father leads to behavior like this. I’m no doctor but idk desu. Got it off my chest and god she can be so annoying. Am I gay for hating the constant affection?
>>
>>21157609
Can you regain respect? (clueless guy asking)
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>>21156842
ask her if she would like to put you in progressively smaller chastity cages until your dick shrinks to half its size near permanently
also ask if she wants to do the same to your ass except stretch it out with progressively larger plugs and dildos until she can fit her fist in and up to her elbow
pretend like you hate it and she will probably enjoy it a lot and only say that you'll do it because you love her and you don't want her to leave you

occasionally let her squeeze your balls while in chastity if you step out of line and try to act like a man
>>
>>21156842
>And shes always pulling my hair and slapping my butt.
well well well, the roles have already been established, if you become a chad, hitting the gym and jacking it on test, changing the order might turn out into full blown revolution
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>>21157709
beatings.

I’m tired of even typing he details really. Tl;dr my first experience with a therapist five years ago resulted in me being diagnosed with depression, not treated, and betrayed in a way that effectively threw my life off the rails entirely. I haven’t trusted therapists since but people online aren’t a substitute and I pretend I’m fine around people I know IRL. I’ve been thinking about death and suicide for half a decade now, but I hold out between alternating motivations of fear or obligation. I’m currently working but have tried school over and over, but ever since the initial therapist incident I effectively went from honor student to no longer functioning if it’s not menial work. I don’t enjoy anything at all anymore, and I’m afraid if things are like this by the time I’m 25 I’ll get hit with he quarter/third life crisis and just kill myself.

I’ve tried talking to colleges but I’m afraid if I’m honest to anyone with power over me they’ll just treat me be same way again and I’d rather ride this out to the bitter end than let someone treat me that way again.
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>21156882
>How to deal with hopelessness?
I am diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I refuse to take medication until I have exhausted all other avenues of self-help at which time I will proactively seek out medication.

That point has not come yet.

Now you know where this is coming from:
>Nature
>Exercise
>Emergency self help
>Being honest with yourself and others
>Keep a journal
>Meditation
>Reading really smart works from other depressed people


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>>21157118
>>21157328
I recently got a new job and will try to incorporate going to the gym after work every day.
>>
>>21157518
That's fantastic that you're starting an exercise regimen.

Please set yourself up for success by not doing it "every" day. Gotta give your body rest too, remember? Rest is just as important as action.

Good luck and godspeed Anon. Remember that you are NOT alone.
>>
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I´ll give you a plan against depression. It´s easy to do an makes fun. It´s about the simple chemistry behind depression.


First steps:
Open some windows, if you are at home or take a walk for a while, especially if you see the sun shining. The fresh air will help you not losing your Melatonin, which makes you tired. The sun does exactly the same, it helps your nerves grabbing whatever fluid they shall hold. And remember flowers, they get up, when the sun comes out, it´s almost the same with humans. The next thing is to drink clear water. Serotonin and Dopamin are hydrogencarbonates, and this means every cup of mineral water will help you out. Besides that take some sugar, you could make yourself a tea, but i recommend not to mix your water too much, because every chemical connection that is made your body has to divide again with natural chemistry, so keep it simple for your body, it will help you a little quicker. Do this every day.


And this helps too:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VOzdcCy1Vg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoLd3-AhyIk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWa-6g-TbgI

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>>21156882
>How to deal with hopelessness?
stop fapping

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I'm having so much trouble falling asleep, and it fucking sucks.

I have a diagnosis of delayed sleep phase syndrome, basically my sleep schedule drifts so that I end up falling asleep later and later and eventually I can end up sleeping during the day and being awake at night. The big problem right now is that I just started a new job last week, and they expect me to work 9-5 (pretty reasonable). I scraped by last week on 2-3 hours of sleep a night, but it sucked and there's no way I can keep that up. So I've been in bed for the past 3 hours now, and I just can't fall asleep. My mind won't shut up for 30 seconds and fall asleep.

To make matters worse, I know of a solution that's just not practical. Last night my boyfriend was over, and when I slept with him I was able to fall asleep immediately. It probably helped that we fucked beforehand, but I think it was mainly just focusing on cuddling with him that let my mind stop wandering and fall asleep. But I can't rely on my boyfriend as a sleep aid. We're not in a place in our lives where moving in together would make sense, and being unable to sleep without my boyfriend sounds like a really unhealthy relationship dynamic.

I just don't know what to do. I could really use some advice on how everyone else manages to fall asleep.
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>>21157691
So you have a diagnosis but no treatment options from a health care provider? Melatonin? Nyquil? Body pillow with his pit stick/ cologne on it?
>>
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>>21157715
After the last sleep study the doc prescribed me a light box for light therapy, but it didn't work really well. Melatonin also wasn't really useful. That was right before I went to college, and I basically just only scheduled myself for afternoon classes so I avoided the problem. But I graduated recently and real life expects me to be up 9-5.
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>>21157732
May take time to adjust, have you tried mindful meditation and no stimulus (phone/ computer/TV etc) 2 hours before going to bed?
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>>21157766
Yeah, my doc really impressed in me the importance of avoiding screen light. But after an hour or so of just lying in bed fruitlessly I get disheartened and end up on 4chan or something.
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>>21157691
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNEkzMr3n_k
Don't eat sugars, eat greasy foods, make sure you had some physical activity in your day, drink a warm glass of milk and have a hot shower.

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Any advice for getting into/surviving law school?

I'm gonna take the LSAT this fall, and I just got some test prep books from the library. I graduated with a bachelor's in English over a year ago because I'm a retard, and I've had nothing but shitty jobs that I could have gotten without a four-year degree since then.
>>
Oversaturated field that still operates on where you went to college mattering, but hey right there with you anon
>>
>>21157256
English is actually a good start for law school. You're going to have to read a LOT, pick out the relevant bits, and put them together in new ways.

If you could do it with Chaucer and Shakespeare you can do it with law

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> There's this girl I'm friends with
> I kind of like her
> she's been gone for the past couple months on a trip
> she's coming back in October

What are some things I can do so that she'll be a bit more impressed with me when she gets back?
>>
Very important question here.
Is she a coworker or a classmate?
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>>21157953
Date other girls and volunteer at the children’s hospital.
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>>21157953
show her how you can poop in a bucket
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>>21157953
I heard a cock ring will make your cock thicker.

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/adv/, I need help. Just now, my sister admitted to being a lesbian. I had a feeling the last couple of months, even asked her if her girlfriend is a lesbian, but she lied to me in the past due to her not being ready.
This wouldn't be a big deal, but she has had anxiety and depression issues the last few years. I'm not tempted to jump to conclusions, but something in me believes these problems are linked to what she spoke out, especially since she was suspended from university due to poor grades.
How do I approach her now? I actually care for her and her success in education, but I don't want to come out as a homophobe whenever she's suffering through hardships.
>>
>>21157430
Unironically just get her back in church. She'll find a good support system and hopefully she focus more on grades than a hedonistic lifestyle
>>
You do know the anxiety and depression is from being closeted, right?
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>>21157573
This
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>>21157430
Support, don't judge
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>>21157430
>How do I approach her now?
You stop being an asshole and ignore her sexual life.

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If a really close friend of yours kept taking on extra shifts at work over summer break, when you'll be very far apart after it ends due to going to different universities. How would you view it ?

I don't wanna sound like a doting mother or anything, it's just whenever he tells me about a night shift he takes on I worry abit that the poor fucker will off himself with how little sleep he must get, plus it means we have less time to talk and even potentially hang out.

I recognize this sounds rather selfish, and I get that he wants the extra money for Uni, but I don't know how to get it across to him that he should slow down abit and enjoy himself more
>>
>>21158039
Live life money doesn’t mean shit.
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>>21158045
I wish I could get that across to him somehow, I miss not being able to hangout as often as we use to, plus I feel like once uni starts he'll regret it aswell being so far out from me, family and other friends
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>>21158039
Perhaps he needs the money
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>>21158100
I get that idea and his normal shifts don't seem that growling. It's just that he'll have a decent sized maintaance loan paid into his account aswell so anything he earns rn is a bonus basically.

I just worry he's focusing entirely on money right now and he'll regret it later down the line

I was at a friend's house when I accidentally knocked over a small and very light coffee table with a cup of water on it. Unbeknownst to me, another friend was charging her laptop UNDER the couch (completely hidden from sight) next to the coffee table and water spilled onto her laptop, damaging it. Now she wants me to cover damages to her laptop.
Any suggestions for a fair amount to help cover? On one hand I definitely feel responsible because I was the one who spilled the water. On the other hand, who charges their laptop on the ground in a place that's hidden and likely to have drinks spilled?
>>
Since you feel like you have some responsibility in this, I think offering $100 toward the repair is reasonable. I'm sure the repair will far exceed that, but your culpability doesn't.
>>
>>21156596
bump
>>
>>21156604
>>21156604
>>21156604
>>
>>21156596
Tell her to eat shit. I bet she was some hispanic bitch. I would fist her anus for even insinuating that i am at fault for her bullshit.

So right now I'm a dog that caught the mailman. About me, I'm a 21 male, NEET (but don't wanna be anymore), bipolar one, skinny fat, living off my parents but living alone in my own house different city/state. I was at a fair here and saw this woman that was massive, not fat she's slim, but tall. I'm 5' 11'' and she's noticeably taller than I am, ok? That's what I'm into, but then so I must have been manic cause I went over plopped down by her, she's a 10, and we talked for a while, I said the right stuff cause she liked it, nothing really about me though. I ended up getting her number and we've been chatting morning to evening for a few days.

So she wanted to go on a date, but like a whole day long thing. Tomorrow. She wants to get here at 9 am and spend the night, do all these things in between. First of all, I'm worried that when she sees my place and how empty it is, she'll start asking questions. Most rooms are completely empty, can't afford furniture. I don't even have a bed just a mattress. I have some money, but I can't afford to spend that much cause again, I have no income and I basically beg to my parents to survive. But it's all day, she's gonna ask questions no matter what. Do I be honest? Do I make shit up? Is there a better way to phrase that I just play Minecraft all day in a house paid for by my parents? I am so fucked I should not have done this. And sometimes I worry she's just fucking with me. Fuck it, wish me luck

Pic kinda related, she's an instagram "model" and does these face painting things. This isn't her tho, she's got over 100k subscribers or whatever don't wanna get caught trippin day before.
>>
>>21157803
Confidence, real or fake/forced is all that you need. She liked how you made her feel and that all you need.

You’re golden as long as you dont fuck it up.

I will say that you need to clean your place.

Clean your kitchen, toilet, bathroom counter and sink, take trash out, vacuum, and wash all towels.

You don't have to explain your situation, but don't lie. Just be all like this is my pad, it’s simple and enough for me right now.

Most girls love finding a fixer upper guy, he's sweet and makes her smile and feel safe, but cant for the life of him get his shit together.
>>
>>21157803
just relax and don't take it seriously
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>>21157823
This. As long as it's (mostly) clean she most likely won't care. Just own up and be real. If she makes a big deal out of you not having a bunch of expensive shit, she is a bitch anyway, and you should stay away.

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I've decided that I'm going to seriously try to quit smoking after 10 years of smoking. Any advice?
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>>21158049
So I shouldn't just outright try to stop?
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>>21158034
I'd suggest the Audie Murphy route, do a hard stop, it'll hit you harder, and you will be fighting against yourself every step of the way, but to ease your way out will lead to a weakness of the mind, you will give yourself more breaks until you continue again. A hard stop will have you slipping in your will power, and you either start right back up, or you stop completely. However, it's really it's up to how it works best for you, and I implore that you practice your willpower hourly, say no to goods you'd normally take, like a little extra sugar or something else minor. Good luck in any case.
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>>21158056
Depends on what works for you, personally I'd recomend a hard-stop, as a soft stop can lead to a lot of breaks until you go back, unless you do it right
>>
Quit cold turkey. Also, quitting all your "rituals" you have with smoking is the hardest step. Quitting "social smoking" is super hard and I haven't fully managed to get away from it.
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>>21158056
You should stop the smoking but not the nicotine which will alter your mood.

I haven't gone home to visit my family in five years because my mother is married to this worthless alcoholic racist piece of shit and if I see him I'm eventually going to have to start punching him in the face and I'm a nice guy so I don't like to do that.
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>>21157987
ye gonna drink ur mum's pussy juice and spit it on you if you ever visit tiny little faggot
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>>21157984
it's the attitude too
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>>21157880
so....... What do you want advice about?????
>>
>>21158041
othing he's just a cuck that likes to whine.
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>>21157880
Arrange to meet your mother at some restaurant for lunch or dinner without him


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