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How do I convince my friend that dating a single mom isn't a wise idea?
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>>20697529

Have them babysit her kid(s) alone
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>>20697529

It's really none of your business who your friend dates. Pull your head out of your ass.
>>
If it's not your fetish, it's no reason to judge.
>>
>>20697533
What kind of retarded reasoning is that?
Ofc it's his business otherwise what's the point of being a friend? Imagine if one of your female friends dates a thug and beats/kille her... What do you do? You go full "eh can't say anything cuz wasn't my business"? Of fucking course not.
>>20697529
The problem with single moms is the guy is always the asshole if he dumps her and society will be like "how could you leave a mom and her kid you emotionless eggplant". Tell him how much of a risk it is if it turns out she is abusive even if he leaves he'll feel like a piece of shit thinking "was i too soft instead of maning up like i should?" That's how men are programmed and most single moms take advantage of that. Or you know... Try to hook him up with a normal girl
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>>20697559
>if it turns out she is abusive

Check. Shes pretty bipolar from what I can tell. The problem is he doesn't know how to stand up to woman, he argues with them instead of going ghost.

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>enjoying the view, faggot?
Advice on what to do I'm this scenario?
>>
Commit sewer side you pedo
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>>20697570
>relative to the girl
Grab her by hand, yank her back to safety, slap her really hard and tell her to not risk her life like that ever again
>stranger
Call social workers and say that some lost kid is balancing on a fence and nobody is watching after it.

Can I ever have feelings for anything again? Or will it be like this forever, uninterested in anything at all? Will I ever be happy again?
10 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>20694131
I was there dude, that feeling you have feels so permanent doesn't it? Like it's the new normal, you slowly forget how "normal" used to feel like. There are people who are permanently depressed and that has to be one of the shittiest hands you can draw in life, but they are a tiny minority. Most depression is a passing occurrence, and most people experience it to some degree during their life. It's gonna pass, it wont be overnight, it might take it's time, but it's gonna go back to the way it was. It might come and go for a bit in waves of good times and bad, but it'll eventually get better.

Think about it like this, for how long have you felt like shit, during your life? Compare that to the amount of time you didn't feel like shit. One of these is the status quo, and your mind will always go back to that as the default. Ride it out or work it out, depends on the person. I went through mine with exercise and cozy movie binges at home, find what works for you.
>>
>>20694109
Yup, about May is when it will clear up. Or September. One of the two.
>>
it gets better. trist me
>>
It feels permanent
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>>20696872
it isn’t

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How did you improve yourself and why?
26 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>20694251
I didn't. Now I'm almost 30 and fuck my life I wanna die it's too late.
>>
>>20695162
Don't forget where you came from.
>>
>>20696952
What was the turning point?
>>
>>20694251

I embraced my skills instead of putting them on the back burner.
I did it for money and to financially contribute with my bf.

Had to quit my job many years ago due to health reasons. I still wanted to work so i tried various work-from-home jobs. I tried everything. Translation, transcription, editing, content mill writing, teaching languages, shopping affiliation, even nude webcamming at my most desparate point. Some of it brought in money but it wasnt enough. I ignored my artistic abilities because i wasnt confident i could make money off of them.

Finally embraced them (along with my fetishes) and now i draw niche fetish art on patreon from the comfort of my home for $2900 a month
>>
>>20697410
>draw niche fetish art on patreon from the comfort of my home for $2900 a month

Good shit, man

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Do you think in, say 20 years, we'll have moved away from the relationship where the only thing the woman has to do is be found attractive while the man does the rest of the work because she is the prize to get?
11 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>20697492
Lmao gay
>>
>>20697438
We're pretty far from that reality already, in my personal experience.
I put a lot of effort in my relationship, and I was the one to initiate it even.
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>>20697497
>I hookup with princesses because I have a subconscious desire to provide for someone in exchange for their love

Must suck being you, anon.
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>>20697510
How old are you?
>>
>>20697558
25. I've been dating him for a little over a year and half.
I asked him out and all.

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Background:

>her and I met in college
>dated on and off for 3 years
>more serious relationship for 2 years after that
>get married
>been married for two years now
>I'm 25 she's 26

Was out with friends to grab something to eat and a few drinks last Friday, the conversation somehow turned to wife beating. I mentioned that on two occasions I'd physically assaulted my wife, the atmosphere at the table totally changed after that and everyone started talking to me like I was an asshole. I didn't even go into that much detail but somehow it was still enough to piss them off.

These are my friends that I've known for years, how cant they understand that if we're still happily married that clearly we've moved on and it isn't a problem? I've known this woman for almost 8 years and yet my relationship with her has to be defined by 20 minutes of interaction with her? I look after her, spend money on her and love her, but because I raised my hand to her a couple of times I'm a shitty husband? I tried to explain this to them but they were combative and changed the subject. I'm worried I've damaged my relationship with people I've called my friends since high school.

Am I in the wrong here?
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>>20696856
What if it does mean women deserve to get hit?

What is the hang-up western society has on physical violence against women when there is virtually nothing stopping women from being abusive? We're obviously dealing with a very small part of the population, both abusive and physically violent men and women. But why are we zero tolerance on one thing but not the other?

What does it make women if we are told they cannot tolerate any physical violence at all? Fragile children? Certainly not my equal. I don't want to hurt anybody, male or female, yet I fully expect and accept if one day I act completely utterly retarded to a friend, I might get pushed or slapped on the back of the head. Why does what you have between the legs change things so severely?
>>
>>20696810
>His wife is literally hurting him
>He hurts her back
"Fuck off psycho, you don't hurt someone on purpose..."
Yeah...
>>
>>20696965
Because women were mercilessly beaten for hundreds of years by their husbands and couldn't do anything about it until fairly recently. The stigma about it now is purely reactionary. We might never escape it, though.
>>
>>20696993
>>20696965
Oh and, in addition, men still beat the shit out of their girlfriends/wives. We've gotten better, but our domestic violence is still pretty up there. It'll take at least one generation who didn't experience men beating women for the reactionary stigma to fade, so it'll be a very, very long time.
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>>20696972
Fuck off incel.

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Ok, I've started getting more confident and happier about myself and I am noticing that some people which I used to get along with are starting to dislike me now that I am happier about myself.

Is this normal to happen? When others start actively improving themselves people try to make them insecure again?
>>
>>20697523

Sometimes yes. For people who have failed or who have never even tried to improve your success will feel intimidating and it only highlights their own faults. Many will think you did nothing to deserve it and get envious, because they don't know or care how much you worked for it. Don't let it get you down. Find new people to surround yourself with or take it as a complement.
>>
>>20697523
It could be that youre outgrowing them as that tends to happen when people see others succeeding. On the other hand, you could be a self righteous insufferable douchebag who won't shut the fuck up about their "accomplishments". We'll never really know.
>>
>>20697523

You are asking 2 different things. Which is it?
Are they disliking you because you are bettering yourself?
Or are they improving themselves because they see others doing so too?

These are vastly diff concepts. One is malicious and one isnt and i have the feeling that youre the one being malicious here if you are confusing the two
>>
>>20697542
because I'm bettering myself. sorry for confusion.

>>20697540
cool thanks,I like that.

>>20697541
Of course some people I agree could see me as douche. However, I am always open and admit when I make mistakes, and also use self-depreciating humour. Not sure if this is douche.

my opinion is it so far is that they may just feel uncomfortable with outgoing people (ie. introverts or autists {not the same I know}).

positive thing I do see is there are people who are more open to me now as well.

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I'm a 23 year old who's had a decent number of sexual partners. I work out a few times a week and am in decent enough shape.

And yet for some reason, I'm god awful at penetration. Like, it takes me a longer than I'd to get a rhythm going no matter what position, and I often end up accidentally pulling out.

And I know it'd be unrealistic to want to same level of control and movement like in porn, but even in homemade shit the guys seem to be able to get and keep a good rhythm.

Any ideas, thoughts, or advice? I greatly appreciate it.
>>
Ever play a musical instrument?
>>
I have not, no
>>
How about laying back and let the woman do the work because you suck?
>>
>>20696437

Have you tried other "options?" Anal or oral? My bf isnt good at penetration either which is normal and totally ok. He prefers bjs and thats where he performs best. Try out other stuff
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>>20696437

Practice. You say you've had a decent number of partners, but ever tried with one parter for a longer time? It takes some time and effort to figure out how to work well together and to actually have good sex. If you keel swapping partners, it's really no wonder the sex isn't that great yet, because you simply haven't had the opportunity and feedback to figure out the fine mechanics.

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Is it normal to be turned on by inflicting pain?
I am a straight female
14 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>20696579
I’m a femanon in a similar situation. Abused by mother, ended up developing fetish for inflicting pain on men ect.

The only thing that stopped this for me was by finding a man that I absolutely adore who will not have a bar of it. So I’ve had to force myself to not think about it because it’s not compatible in our relationship. It’s hard and sometimes I’ll still grab him a little too hard or something but other than that I don’t even think about it anymore. I just stamped it out.
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>>20697395
Do you still think about those things in private or have you been able to totally drive it out?
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>>20696544
thats hot though
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>>20697520
I mean, yeah, it is.
I'm just not sure if it should be
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>>20697544
you can hurt me babe, break me in like a wild stallion

How do I get an asian girlfriend in Europe?, should I move to china to get one?
>>
Ask asians out. They are human 2. But if you have money, go to thailand or philis to get a cute girl

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Vent or write letters here.
241 replies and 16 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
I have no idea what's come over me. I have no idea why I'm afraid of a person I don't even know. Maybe it's my brain overthinking situations of talking to this person, but I can't escape it and I feel like there's no way out. It's frightening. Sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I know it's often called approach anxiety, but it feels like a much deeper tangled web my own subconscious and my own situations have thrown me into with no prospect of escape.

So I'll fight the apprehension and move forward. I have no choice, really.
>>
I think I'm healing.
Learning
Growing as opposed to becoming Stragnant.
I make commitments.
People ask for me to hang out and I do.
Work is going well.
Family appreciates me.
Might have one friend finally.
And yet I still greedily want something else. Some nebulous thing. I realize I've gotten extremely lucky. But I'm so used to the chaos of the past I don't know how to cope with things going well. It leaves me paranoid. Wondering when and how it will inevitably fall apart.
Everything is Eventual.
>>
>>20697505
anxiety
>>
>>20697504
I forgot to say.
Take a shower once in a while. You stink.
>>
Late last year I got into my first relationship ever, and hopefully the one that will last for the rest of my life because I'm almost 30 and this is literally my first contact with a woman. I met her online, she lives in another country, and I have never been this happy before. She's not a catfish, I'm sure of it. We call and do video chats few times a week, send mail to our home addresses, and all the other things you would expect. I don't have any doubts about this, but I'm still scared because I might move to her country sometime in the future. Or she might move here, but I'm playing safe and assume I'm the one moving to keep myself mentally prepared. We're going to meet in few months and I'm scared she might see the things about me that has kept me away from all the other women through all these years. I know it's not going to be like that, but I'm still scared.

In other words:
OH GOD OH FUCK AAAHHHH I HAVE NEVER EVEN KISSED AND SHE WANTS ME TO KISS HER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH WHAT DO I DO?!!! WHEN SHE SENDS ME SELFIES I'M SO HAPPY BUT ALSO SO ANXIOUS I END UP FEELING DIZZY! AHHH IF SHE EXPECTS ME TO HOLD HANDS IN PUBLIC I'M SURELY GOING TO FAINT AND MAKE A SCENE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH GOD PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME I'M SO SCARED

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I have no idea how to break up a long term relationship and its causing me a lot of emotional distress. Weve been together 3 years and i dont want to continue this but every time i try to broach the subject as i have in the past she completely shuts down. She crys hysterically, throws things, runs into other rooms. Just to calm her i have to make concessions and weve ended up getting back together after the last time i tried to break up (a year ago). I no longer want to continue this cycle but every day when i get home from work i feel too tired to talk to her and go through the process. I have always been a procrastinator but the relief of putting off this uncomfortable situation has now given way to stress and a deep depression. How do you break up with someone?
>>
>>20696193
Tell her you're tired of having to do damage control every time you want to talk about a serious relationship issue and leave her. If you can't be a gentleman about it than just be a dick and get it over with.
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>>20696193
Embrace your inner asshole. Talk it through with yourself internally, come up with a script, never break from the script. If you live together, set up actual timelines and give them to her.

There is no talking through this, you do not owe her any more explanations or closure, the relationship is done. She can deal with the next steps herself.
>>
>>20696835
>>20696868
I do feel some love for her and i would like to make it as painless as possible. Shes emotionally unstable so i have had to bottle a lot of issues up and to blind side her with this has made me feel like its going to be way worse then if i had at least attempted to talk things out. I feel guilty and i fear that will cause me to repeat the cycle.
>>
>>20697175
If you've tried to talk about it before, you're not blindsiding her. It just sounds like she doesn't want to have the conversation because she knows what the outcome will be. Nevertheless, if she's not willing to hear you out and work on the issues you are having with the relationship then she it sounds like she's not willing to actually fight for the relationship beyond manipulating you into keeping it going. I understand that you care for her and want minimal harm but you need to consider yourself in this equation too.

Maybe contact her in a way that she cannot run from (letter, voicemail,
something she can't yell at) outlining what your problems are with the relationship and offer to either work through them together or break up. If she's not willing to even have a serious discussion about your relationship, then I doubt whether it is worth saving at all.
>>
>>20696193

She sounds mentally and emotionally abusive.
I know its hard to hear this but its going to have to be a cold hard clean break off. For your sake and her sake, just say you are done and leave without another word. Dont text or call her every again. Just disappear.

If you guys live together thats another story. Youre gonna have to pack up some stuff and move out plain and simple. Ignore her feelings because shes using her tantrums to manipulate you

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How do I stop smoking 4chan? I'm only 18 and I'm already worried this shits going to kill me. I've been regularly to heavily smoking for about 4 years.
Has anybody stopped themselves? What worked for you. I sweat to fuck and become a seriously angry person when I don't, all I can think about is cigarettes. This shits going to kill me and I'm kinda scared.
I hate myself that I have to even ask this, like why can't I just be normal and have some fucking self control, I'm like a slave to my own mind. It's pathetic and I want out.
It doesn't help that my parents, girlfriend and friends smoke. I don't know what to do.
>>
>>20697018
I used to smoke until 1 year 7 months ago, smoked from 15/16 until a few months before my 20th.
I found Joel Spitzer's work really helped me calm down and stay grounded (he has a YT channel and a website) so maybe you could give that a try? It could never hurt to arm yourself with useful information and wisdom.
I remember there being a "quit smoking timeline", and for some reason that really helped me out as well (it basically gives random milestones throughout the following hours, days, weeks, months and years).
>>
>>20697018
Dunno about your mental situation, but here is how I stopped:

I was at 16 cigs a day, less than most addicted but still. I knew that I was to weak to hold through a cold turkey so I reduced to 13 cigs. I let my body get used to this amount (took about 2 weeks) and then reduced to 10 cigs (always take away 3), get used to it and so on. After one and a half months I was down to one cig a day and finally crushed that one as well.

The key is to be very disciplined. You MUST NEVER break your rules. Once you are 1 cig over you can restart the whole week.

Talk with your parents and friends and let them help you. I know smokers use to hang with other smokers, so try to distance yourself from them for a bit, tell them you wanna stop and tell them not to give you any cigs (mine kept their words). And you need achievments, mostly a ventile, to cope with your anger. Start to work out and go jogging. You will be weak on start but your young, your body can cope with that shit easily. Even though you smoke you start to build up, and this feeling of fresh air filling your lungs, making you run longer and longer is better than any cig can give you. Use that as motivation and you will make it.

But don't be fooled, with cigs its like with alcohol, once you were addicted, you will never be a non-smoker again. From then on, you will always have to fight.
>>
>>20697018
It's hard. Nicotine is more addictive than heroin.

The slightly good news - while it is the nicotine that gets you hooked, it's the other stuff in cigarettes, the "tars", that kill you. So nicotine gum, patches, etc can feed your addiction while leaving out the tars
>>
>>20697018
Try and taste that shit in your mouth. See how it really tasts. You will never try a cig again
>>
Use Nicotine gum
Stupidly I started smoking again after having stopped for a long time. 1, then 2 and so on.

Decided have to stop and use gum.
Gradually cut down.

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Do anyone know what kind of JavaScript libraries (besides jquery) I should learn to land a web developer job?
4 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
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>>20697207
Jquery is an auxiliary tool. You're not going to land a job with something you can learn in a few hours. Put some real effort in learning or fuck off.
>>
>>20697218
jQuery is still well used in your average digital agency. It's worth knowing.

React/Angular/Vue and your other frontend frameworks are for your higher-end agencies and web software development companies. These frameworks require a mastery of vanilla JavaScript ES6/7 as well as a firm knowledge of declarative programming.
>>
>>20697228
Whatever nigger. Go put html, css and jquery on your cv and see how your job hunting goes.
You need actual frontend frameworks, not some $('bullshit') that only helps you save a few lines of code.
They're not even that hard anyway.
>>
>>20697178
>Do anyone know what kind of JavaScript libraries (besides jquery) I should learn to land a web developer job?
If you're actually a good developer, just put the basics (Html, CSS, JavaScript) on your cv along with 2 or 3 frameworks
When they tell you which one they actually use (if they use one), just learn it at home and on the fly at work

It's programming, you don't actually need to learn anything ahead of time if you're good
>>
ReactJS or AngularJS (they basically do the same things), if you want to apply for front-end positions. If you're aiming for full stack you'll have to learn NodeJS.
these are frameworks btw.

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Where is a good site to buy dildos online? I live alone, but I still feel subconscious about buying one.
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>>20696439
Bad dragon. Silicon is extremely tough and you can sterilize them by boiling or dish washing.
Don't buy from amazon, retailers aren't vetted and try to hock second hand sex toys, it's full of scams
Don't buy anything that has a seam or is porous, these harbor bacteria
Don't buy jelly dildos, they cause cancer
>>
>>20696439
ebay
>>
Pure Romance if you want to help your local struggling women.
>>
>>20696439

Buy silicone only and buy it locally from a small family owned adult store. Theyre cheaper than online shops
>>
>>20697539
Search it in google maps and pick one. These are all women selling dildos on comission trying to make a living.


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